As we get old, the biggest problem we face has nothing to do with outsiders, but with Related to the people around you. Especially family affection, people feel more and more “reality”.
Someone has put forward such a point of view,The family relationship decades ago is different from today’s Darling, that’s different. The essence is that the former is pure and the latter is complex.
In the past, because the material was not very developed, people did not pay much attention to money, so people , that is more important. Especially family affection, which is regarded as a “treasure” by countless people.
Nowadays, with material development, people’s inner desires are also stimulated,People are becoming more and more “obsessed” with money, which has led to the concept of “money first, affection weak”, which is deeply rooted in the hearts of the people.
This kind of “materialization to the extreme” concept will not only affect the feelings of outsiders, but also affect the feelings of relatives emotion. In the end, everyone is a slave to “desire”, with indifference and no warmth around them.
People, gradually retiring, it is time to recognize the “reality” situation, No matter what Wishful thinking, it is best not to blindly believe in feelings. Otherwise, you will suffer a lot.
The most far-sighted way to live after retirement, in addition to paying attention to family affection, you should also pay more attention to it.
One, no matter how good you are to your children , and don’t “leave no room”.
Parents with traditional concepts have such a characteristic: they have worked hard all their lives, so they should keep all their assets and savings To our children, we desire their filial piety with a heart of complete devotion.
This approach cannot be wrong, it can only be said that some“too humble”It’s gone. Parents give all their assets to their children, just hoping that they will be filial. What is the meaning of such “filial piety”?
What’s more, I gave my money to my children as soon as I retired, and I didn’t keep anything for myself. Is it equivalent to forcing yourself to a dead end and blocking the way out?
Sometimes, it is not fate that makes us “uneasy in old age”, everything is the result of our “self-inflicted”.
No matter how good you are to your children, try not to spend all your money. To put it bluntly, once we fall ill and can’t move, then we who have no money will really face the tragedy of “long-term sickness without a filial son”?
People, we should not only pay attention to feelings, but also leave a way out for ourselves and make material preparations.
Second, relatives who always love to take advantage should be alienated up.
When people are old, it is best to maintain such a principle:We do not occupy others It’s cheap, don’t let others take advantage of us, both parties keep their own duties and go their own way.
In this way, it may give people a feeling that “right from wrong is too clear”. It’s just that the relationship between people is better“clear”.
For example, if you are in contact with relatives, when there is nothing to do, you should meet less. When it’s the holidays, let’s have a peaceful meal. I don’t owe you anything, and you don’t owe me anything. Each has its own bottom line.
This is the most “ideal” state. In reality, we are often disturbed by “emotions”, so that we are not “rational” enough to behave and do things, causing unnecessary troubles.
Relatives always “ask for help but not repay”, always “borrow money but not repay”, so why should we be willing? Being taken advantage of?
Being a human being, don’t have any “Mother’s Heart”, just deal with people and things rationally, and be ruthless when you should be merciless.
3. Prepare for the worst in everything. Be as prepared as possible.
After the past few years, I believe many people are particularly impressed by the words “worst plan” . Because no one knows who will come first, accident or tomorrow.
After the age of 60, many people still don’t understand, why do they have to have “the worst plan”? Could it be that you can’t have the best plan?
Actually, there are no “surprises” in life, but more “shocks”. If you don’t have the worst plan in your heart, you will easily collapse in the face of difficulties and suffer a huge psychological gap.
There is such a theory in the scientific community: the law of entropy increase. The so-called “law of entropy increase” roughly means that in a certain space, everything develops in the direction of chaos and disorder.
From this moment, family affection is warm. But what about the next moment? We can comfort ourselves with “family first”, but we cannot change other people’s choices. Therefore, You have to bear the blessings and disasters yourself, and you can’t blame others.
In old age, people must have sufficient material preparations and psychological worst plans. One is king.
Four or seven points of sincerity to others, Give yourself three points of defense.
There is such a principle:Three seven principles. No matter who you treat or what you face, it is best not to give 100% sincerity, just give 70% sincerity.
Just like eating,Eat only 70% full and leave 30% for yourself space, try not to let the stomach suffer. This is the best diet.
When you get along with others, you can only leave seven points of sincerity to others at most, and the other three points of defense should be reserved for yourself. The so-called “There is no need to guard against others”This is the truth.
There is a saying in the ancients: “A person only talks about three things, and dare not give up all his heart.” strong>
In the eyes of the ancients, being able to tell the truth to others is already very good, so why talk about being completely honest with others?
Nowtoday, people’s hearts are more complicated and human nature is more unpredictable . There are a lot of things, if you have to pretend, you should pretend, if you need to prevent, you should prevent, at least let yourself live a stable life.
Text/Deer in Shushan