In marriage, there is such a hurdle called the “seven-year itch”.
From the perspective of marriage psychology,The so-called “seven-year itch” is nothing but Conflicts between husband and wife will erupt in the seventh year after marriage, putting the marriage at risk of “breaking up”.
There are a lot of divorced young couples. Divorce?
If you can’t survive the “seven-year itch”, the couple will have to break up. But if the “seven-year itch” is overcome, will the marriage last for a long time? This is not absolute either.
Generally speaking, after the seventh year has passed, the conflicts in marriage will ease and become less acute. It’s just that the husband and wife sleep in separate rooms, and even no longer have any contact, and the relationship will deteriorate day by day.
Why is there a “divorce wave” after the college entrance examination every year? Because the patience of countless couples is just to create a seemingly good family environment for their children. As long as the child goes to college, the husband and wife don’t have to pretend.
The majority of people get married between the ages of 26 and 30. By the time their children finish their college entrance examinations, they should be 45 years old. In other words, after the age of 45 is the period of outbreak of marital conflicts.
During the period from 45 to 55 years old, the person next to the pillow has these behaviors, implying that he has become no longer reliable.
1. Volunteering to separate but not continuing Make do with the idea.
In married life, there are two big taboos-separation and separation.
It’s actually okay to separate rooms. The couple either sleep in separate rooms because of a bad relationship, or because they have different habits. sleep. Anyway, living in the same family is not a big problem.
If you live apart, the problem will be bigger. Especially when one party is local and the other is out of town, it is basically difficult to maintain the relationship between husband and wife, and they can only live like “strangers”.
I have seen some middle-aged couples who were forced to live in two places. In the dark. There are also some couples who voluntarily separate and do not want to meet again, so the relationship between husband and wife “exists in name only.”
There is a saying that says,Separated for a month, maybe he doesn’t have you in his heart shadow. After half a year of separation, maybe the other person’s whole person has changed. If you live apart for more than one year, it is equivalent to “living separately”.
In the process of getting along, try not to be separated, otherwise the fate will come to an end.
Second, in terms of marital property, gradually Conflict.
There is a contradiction, which is not easy to resolve – the contradiction of husband and wife’s property.
Some people ridicule that the entire “Marriage Law” is filled with only one word – money. In other words, what the law protects is the money of the parties to the marriage.
From the perspective of “the law comes from reality”, it is precisely because most of the conflicts in marriage are related to “money “Related, that’s why the Marriage Law pays special attention to the protection of marital property.
Middle ageHusband and wife will argue a few words for the education of their children, but they will not have conflicts. However, when it comes to money, it is inevitable that the two parties will fight and even calculate each other.
Money, there is such a magical power that it will gradually change the hearts of sincere people, and turn the two who were in love in the past into enemies. Maybe, we will complain that the other party is “only looking for profit”, but we don’t know that we are also people who “value money”.
When it comes to money matters, try not to cause conflicts. As long as this kind of conflict arises, the family really “breaks up”.
Third, love the new and dislike the old, starting the second spring.
If you eat too much, you will feel tired and want to eat noodles to adjust the taste; if you eat too much meat, you will also feel tired I feel that the meat is not tasty, and the vegetables not far away are more delicious.
The change of “taste” is not only reflected in diet, but also in the relationship between husband and wife. All cheating and betrayal are the inevitable result of “changing tastes”.
In the early years, both of them vowed that you treat me well, and I treat you well, and they will be kind and friendly for a lifetime. If something is wrong halfway through, and people’s minds change, it is inevitable to “like the new and dislike the old”.
After 45 years old, you are old, and he is also old. Both parties are very familiar, and there is no sense of mystery. That being the case, if he chooses the second life of his life, and you choose another life, the two parties will gradually drift apart.
What’s more, with the development of information network and big data, there are more and more romances on the Internet, many of whom are Years of married people are mixed among them. This is the beginning of a broken marriage.
There is a reality, in fact, many people don’t want to believe it: they don’t even know that their lover is dating others online.
Fourth, Encounter When dealing with problems, directly hold the attitude of “it’s none of your business”.
As the saying goes: “Husbands and wives are originally birds in the same forest, and they fly separately when disaster strikes. “
Some time ago, I saw such a case. It is about a middle-aged couple, one of them is sick, and the illness is very serious, and the other runs away overnight, without the slightest emotion at all.
Many people have commented on this, and they have been together for more than ten or twenty years. Running all night? Could it be that the relationship between husband and wife for more than ten or twenty years is still unable to withstand the impact of reality?
There are two sentences:Same joys but not sufferings, same sufferings but not joys .
The two parties are together because of “money”. Start a business together, and when it succeeds, one of the parties will start to turn their backs on each other and find a new lover outside.
Human beings are extremely complex creatures, and they behave differently in the process of poverty and wealth. The husband and wife should pay more attention to each other.
Text/Deer in Shushan