You can’t control others, you can only control yourself

About self-knowledge, there is a very interesting story: During the Warring States Period, there was a beautiful man named Zou Ji in Qi State, who was also a minister in the court. One day he looked in the mirror and found that he was very beautiful, so he asked his wife, who is more beautiful between me and Mr. Xu from the north of Chengbei? Xu Gong in the north of the city was also a very famous handsome man at that time. His wife said, of course you are more beautiful than Mr. Xu. He didn’t believe it, so he asked his concubine, and the concubine also said that he was more beautiful than Xu Gong. Just when a guest came to see him, he asked the guest again during the chat, and the guest answered the same way. When Xu Gong came to visit him the next day, he weighed it carefully and felt that Xu Gong was much more beautiful than himself. Then, he began to think about another question: Why do wives, concubines, and guests say that he is more beautiful than Xu Gong? The final conclusion is: the wife loves him, so she thinks he is more beautiful; the concubine is afraid of him and wants to please him, so she says he is more beautiful; the guest wants to please him, so she says he is more beautiful. So he understood a truth: people cannot know themselves from the evaluation of others, they must learn to know themselves, otherwise they may be deceived. Later, he told King Qi Wei about this experience, and King Qi Wei thought it was very reasonable, so he promulgated a resolution to reward those who made admonishments, and opened up their voices, and Qi became better and better as a result.

There is another advantage of self-knowledge, that is, you will not blame others.

When Yuan Shikai first became president, he did not dare to restore the monarchy, but Yang Du and others created all kinds of public opinion, and they all encouraged him to become emperor. Yuan Shikai took a look and thought that the people of the world really wanted him to be emperor, so he restored the monarchy and became emperor himself. As a result, as soon as he became emperor, he was opposed by the whole world, and the national defense forces from all over the country wanted to attack him, and even his own army betrayed him. At first he was very angry, thinking that Yang Du had misled him and made him make a wrong decision, but then he slowly came to his senses and realized that he couldn’t control himself and could not blame others. Later, some friends defended him, saying that those people had harmed Yuan Gong to such an extent that he could be killed. Yuan Shikai said, don’t blame them, it’s my problem. What he meant was that if he had no selfish desires, he would not be tempted by what others did, let alone take action. So whenever he does something like this, it’s his fault, not the person who pushed him to do it. This is Yuan Shikai’s self-knowledge. What would happen to him if he had no self-knowledge? He will hate those who put himself on the throne. If so, it is unknown. However, if Yuan Shikai could realize his mistakes, where he might fail, and make up for them, he would not be tempted to make mistakes on key issues and disobey his son’s advice. So, he hasn’t done enough.

Each of us should remember that when encountering difficulties and problems, don’t always blame others, but blame yourself, because you can’t control others, The only person you can control is yourself. Even if others want to harm you, if your heart belongs to you, how can you let them succeed? Therefore, when people encounter setbacks, they must first reflect on themselves, find out their own problems, and then step by step deliberate on all aspects of the whole matter to understand how to deal with people and things in the future. But the most important thing is still self-knowledge. Those who know themselves neither blame heaven nor others.

Some people do some small things wrong, so they have to find the reason from the people around them and blame others. This is not self-knowledge. Don’t keep asking why others do this, why society does this, but ask yourself to see why you are like this. Questioning yourself means introspection and introspection. The stronger the introspection ability, the less troubles and pains you will have, because you will have less resentment towards others and the environment. Resenting others, resenting the environment, and resenting society is the most tiring thing. So, don’t torment yourself the way you torment others, and don’t torment others the way you torment yourself. Remember, those who know themselves do not complain about others. All changes are natural laws, and the “God” in your heart is actually a natural law, which is the reaction force of your actions. So, don’t complain. If you keep complaining, you will slowly lose all your friends, and one day you will even be cornered. This is “the one who blames others is poor”.

You have to take on your own life, and you have to take on your own mission. Xunzi said that those who blame the sky have no ambitions, because a person with great ambitions does not care about the present, he always looks at the possibility of the future, always works hard for the possibility of the future, and is always actively learning, actively introspecting, and actively making progress . He has no time to be empty and lost, and he has no need to complain. On the contrary, people without great ambitions always stay where they are, and they will always blame others instead of actively changing themselves.

Be an upright gentleman, always introspect, and always point the sword at yourself; This is a very important virtue.