“Excuse me, do your boyfriends or husbands also like to poop?” When a woman asks this question carefully, she will gain a resonance.
As we all know, men are either shitting or on their way to shitting. Men were in the toilet long enough to scoop out a path to freedom, as Shawshank did. In fact, the effect is similar. The toilet is the soul study room and decompression chamber for men. Their devotion to the toilet is enough to make any believers unmatched. This phenomenon even breaks through geographical restrictions and reaches a consensus around the world.
Man shits 9 months of his life
Men prefer to stay in the toilet more than women, a conclusion that has long been ruthlessly confirmed by data. According to a 2018 user survey by UK toilet sales company UKBathrooms, men spend 1 hour and 35 minutes a week on the toilet and women spend 55 minutes a week. This statistic does not include time to urinate. The original data is calculated by week. If we break down the week into days, it means that men spend 14 minutes a day shitting and women 8 minutes a day. Men are almost twice as many as women. Although the average difference in a day is only a few minutes, the results add up each day and the results are quite exaggerated. We multiplied the daily difference by the average life expectancy, and the result: Men spend 9 months of their lives pooping, a full 4 months longer than women.
Another data from the United States is even more staggering. In 2021, journalist Sam Hancock designed a survey and sent it to 38 men aged 19-55 asking them about their toileting habits. As a result, 92 percent said they spent 20 minutes or more sitting on their ceramic thrones at a time. Six others admitted to regularly spending an hour in the toilet.
Do men really need to poop longer than women? In a rigorous attitude, let’s first analyze the physiological reasons.
According to the standard value of energy intake given by the China Clinical Nutrition Network, men aged 18 to 29 consume 500 to 750 more calories a day than women, which is about 1 to 1.5 A McDonald’s Big Mac. That is to say, men eat more and excrete more naturally than women, but this difference in excretion is not enough to significantly affect the duration of pooping.
Another factor that affects the duration of a bowel movement is constipation. According to the “Guidelines for the Diagnosis and Treatment of Chronic Constipation in China” by the Chinese Medical Association, the prevalence of chronic constipation in men and women is 1:1.22~1:4.56, and women are higher than men. The CDC’s Ambulatory Medical Services Survey (NAMCS) also showed that between 2005 and 2015, the number of medical visits for constipation was 34.8 million, of which women accounted for 68.2%. In other words, if constipation is considered, it should be that women spend more time in the toilet.
So, the answer is actually quite obvious. If a man spends a lot of time in the toilet, there is a high probability that what he does has nothing to do with shit.
What do men hide in toilets?
The most common mistake women make is that when a man says “I’m going to shit”, they actually think he’s shitting. Therefore, they inevitably save others by themselves, and understand the time of going to the toilet as the time when feces slip from the large intestine to the toilet. Calm down, they don’t know what toilets mean to men.
There is a scene in the movie “This Is 40”: Pitt, who is over forty, is caught by his wife pretending to go to the toilet, “I know you actually You’re not shitting!” his wife screamed. But Pete remained silent and continued to play his iPad quietly on the toilet.
Image source: The movie “This Is 40”
This scene is a true portrayal of many middle-aged married men. According to a 2018 survey by electronics retailer BankMyCell, 80% of men surveyed use their mobile phones when they go to the toilet, and 15% every time.
Men love to find out what’s going on in the world on the toilet. According to BankMyCell, the most common thing men use their phones to do when they go to the bathroom is social media. This is impossible, after all, there are so many things in this world that need the attention of men! What impact will the North Stream No. 2 pipeline leak have on the world situation? Is the future world food security guaranteed? When will Southgate be sacked from England? Does the lady I follow have any new pictures? Men care about the country and the world on the toilet, like a diligent emperor approving memorials.
Of course, none of this is the phone’s fault. Men can try anything to delay, some men have even changed their habit of urinating standing up. In a 2011 John Hopkins survey, 35 percent of 2,000 male respondents said they sat on the toilet to urinate. The reason, besides avoiding splashes and reducing the sound, is to relax, because it’s easier to read when you sit down.
If the male protagonist in “Forty and Confused” lived in an era before smartphones appeared, he might be holding a newspaper or a magazine in his hand. It doesn’t matter what you look at, it matters when you poop.
For men, a toilet can be anything but a toilet. 35% of men use the toilet as a private game room, similar to the private room of an Internet cafe, where you can fight as much as you like without being urged to renew. From the perspective of game performance, the toilet is the “spring water” of men, and they will become real warriors (or mages) here. Data shows that 25% of men can get BUFF bonuses when playing games in the toilet, and score higher. Soldiers, however, can be dropped by a sudden call—men are also more likely than women to get a call from their boss while pooping due to longer trips to the bathroom.
More and more people are aware of the fact that men love to squat and are sharing squat details on social media. We collected comments from netizens under 3 related videos with more than 100,000 views (the videos are from “Dr. Sun Qinglei”, “Dr. Liu Jiayong”, and “Mr. He Talking About Economy”). Through these netizens’ messages, we can see the inner world of men.
Some netizens summed up the “four-piece toilet set”, namely: “paper, lighter, cigarette, mobile phone”. For many men, being able to smoke in the toilet is quite attractive. As the saying goes, a cigarette after a meal is like a fairy. Between inhalation and expulsion, you can feel your body sublime. So after every meal, men, under the urging of nicotine, intermittently enhance the vitality of the intestines, and quickly convert the food they just ate into excrement. It doesn’t matter if the conversion is slow, just squat down and talk about it. After all, shit also needs to be brewed, they told their wives who urged them to wash the dishes.
The toilet is also a muse for men, and every splash you make is a conversation with God. Programmers have the most say in this matter. “A lot of bugs are figured out in the toilet and how to fix it,” they said. Of course, “leg numbness” is also a high-frequency word that follows, “squatting until the leg becomes numb, and then it comes out when the leg loses consciousness”.
Why do you have a soft spot for toilets?
Men are so in love with toilets that they don’t hesitate to get hemorrhoids. Clinical medicine has confirmed the causal relationship between prolonged bowel movements and hemorrhoids. The 2015 paper “Survey on the Prevalence of Anorectal Diseases in Chinese Residents” showed that among the 68,906 people surveyed, the prevalence of anorectal diseases in men was 50.04%, more than half. The “Epidemiological Survey of Common Anorectal Diseases in Chinese Adults” shows that the prevalence of anorectal diseases is the lowest among people whose defecation time is less than 5 minutes, and the most important manifestation of anorectal diseases is hemorrhoids. The prevalence rate of people with defecation time of more than 30 minutes was as high as 68.52%.
About the reasons why they are willing to stay in the toilet for a long time, male netizens have left hundreds of answers under the video “Why do husbands all over the world like to squat in the toilet”, summed up in one sentence That is: they really want to be quiet.
In the toilet, men lose healthy chrysanthemums, but gain precious freedom. Even if someone makes a request, a sentence “I’m shitting” is enough to prevaricate, after all, what is more important and urgent in the world than shit? They just squatted there quietly, leaving the trouble to others and keeping the happiness to themselves.
Admit it, the toilet is the man’s cave, the last refuge. Whether sitting or squatting, you enjoy independent space and breathe free air. It is private, warm and stress-relieving here. Only in the toilet can men truly be themselves.
“I was always asked why I was squatting for so long, but I didn’t realize it. I needed a alone space to relieve my emotions.” “I always feel that only time in the toilet belongs to me. My own, the rest of the time belongs to others.” “Married men can produce at any time when they don’t have a bowel movement, in order to satisfy their emotional value in the toilet; unmarried men can hold back when they have a bowel movement, in order to satisfy their emotional value in front of the computer.”
SuccessThe world of young people is too turbulent, and in the toilet, people can find reasons to escape from reality. This reason can deal with others and, more importantly, with yourself. Everyone needs a space like this, male or female. It could be in the helmet of an electric car, or in a car in a parking lot, and more often it’s actually in the toilet. Life is already so tiring, who doesn’t want to squat on the toilet to catch a breath?
References:
Guidelines for the diagnosis and treatment of chronic constipation in China
Survey on the prevalence of anorectal diseases among Chinese residents
Epidemiological survey of common anorectal diseases in Chinese adults
https:https://www.vice.com/en/article/93wjwd/why-do-men-take-so-long-on-the-toilet
https:https://onepointpartitions.com/blog/2017/04/19/women-vs-men-bathroom-habits-2/
https:https://www.bankmycell.com/blog/cell-phone-usage-in-toilet-survey
https:https://pebblegrey.co.uk/blog/the-great-escape
Writing & Data｜Designed by Li Zhang of Dys Numbers｜Edited by Ruifeng Lu of Dys Numbers｜Hao Ku
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