After I had the concept of getting married and starting a family, I found that there is a difference between me and other girls, that is, I care more about the situation of my future parents-in-law. For example, whether you have a job, whether you have your own income, and whether you are in good health. Of course, I’m not saying that these are the only conditions for me to agree to get married, but these conditions are as important as the man’s own conditions. Text|Hu Xiaoguai, Picture|Network
Later, when I made such a request during a blind date, someone asked me why. It’s not that some girls still dislike living with their parents-in-law and affecting the life of the young couple. Why did they change when they came to me. How should I put it, whether I am realistic or calculating. I think that with my own conditions, it is impossible for me to marry someone from a wealthy family who can afford a nanny to help me in my life. So I will definitely use my in-laws after I get married.
I have seen too many women around me who got married and had children. Because there is no one to help, life is very difficult. Some parents can help, but you can’t always count on one. So the in-law’s family is actually very important. There is a big difference in married life between the mother’s family and the in-law’s family who help from both sides and only one side, or no one to help.
My ex-boyfriend Li Feng and I met at a friend gathering, and some of them brought their friends over, talking and laughing, and we became acquainted. Among the group of friends at that time, there were not many single people. It happened that we were sitting next to each other, so we naturally chatted a little more. Later, we exchanged contact information quite naturally. I actually have a good impression of him. He is not very handsome, but he is very energetic. His tone of voice and expression are very comfortable, and there is a sense of intimacy when chatting with him.
The two of us went out alone many times later, eating together, watching movies, etc. It can be seen that he is quite caring. It’s all the ways I like, and it’s quite obvious that they are chasing me. I already had a good impression of him, so naturally I wouldn’t refuse him. After we got along for half a year, we confirmed our relationship.
I only cared about the situation in his family after I confirmed the relationship. The relationship is for marriage, so naturally I have to figure out what I care about. But his home is in the next city, which is actually a bit far from my home, and he just works here. I don’t know his friends very well, so it’s not easy for me to ask these questions, so my understanding of his family comes from his answers.
In the beginning, I was convinced of his answer, after all, I really like him, although he talked about his family situation, in most cases , are all perfunctory. His own income from work is not bad, but he is very frugal. When he pursued me, he was quite generous, but after confirming the relationship, whether we date or go out to play, it is really how to save money.
So at first I thought his family conditions were not very good, so he didn’t Tell me clearly, and don’t take me home. In fact, I don’t have high requirements for my family, as long as I don’t owe debts. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have money, if the two of you work hard together, you can still get along slowly. But at that time, I didn’t think about it, his family was not just a poor family, but he knew my marriage request, so he didn’t dare to take me home.
But we have been in love for a long time, so it is natural to talk about marriage, and it is impossible for him to procrastinate not to get married, not to mention that we are not too young. So when we were dating for a year, he finally offered to take me to meet his parents. Before that, my parents had actually met him, and they were quite satisfied with him personally, and urged me to visit his house, so that it was almost time to talk about marriage.
On the way to his house, he was always in a bad mood and felt very nervous. I even laughed at him. It is said that an ugly daughter-in-law will be nervous when she sees her in-laws, why are you nervous when you go back to your own home. Besides, whether it’s me personally or my family, although I’m not too good in all aspects, it’s not bad either. It won’t make you ashamed to see people because you can’t take it out.
But no matter what I say, he is still nervous, and I think something is wrong. I thought to myself, my family is not so poor that I can’t get rid of the pot. As far as we are now, as long as you are not lazy, it is not too difficult to have a full stomach. In my various guesses, I finally got out of the car, and then turned the tricycle a few times, and finally arrived at his house.
Among the neighboring buildings, his one-story bungalow is indeed a bit awkward, and I understand his embarrassment. After all, although my family’s conditions are average, we have our own building, and my parents have worked for many years, so I have some savings. But I think it’s okay, we don’t work here, and we won’t live here in the future, we work hard, and it will be fine to buy a suite in the city. I also tugged at his hand and smiled, expressing that I didn’t care.
But when I carried the gift and followed him to open the door with a smile on my face, I found that there was no people. I was dumbfounded at the time, and before I could ask him what was going on, he blushed and told me. You are waiting for me at home, maybe there is something in the neighbor’s houseLet my parents help me, I will call back. After speaking, he ran away. At that time, I felt that something was wrong, so I followed him subconsciously, and then followed him to the canteen at the head of the village.
It is said to be a canteen, but more like a chess and card room. There are some products scattered on the shelves, but no one cares about them. Everyone’s attention is on the tables in the room, and my future in-laws are naturally there too. I heard Li Feng calling his parents, saying that it was agreed that you should not go out at home today, why did you come out, and come back with me quickly.
An uncle next to him spoke up, your parents are used to coming here every day, how can you bear it if you don’t come for a day. Then he said to Li Feng’s parents, let’s change, the son has been urging him, but such a filial son can’t be made to wait too long. His parents were happy when they heard this, and his father said with a smile, that’s right, I quit immediately when he started working, why raise a son, isn’t it just for him to work, so we can enjoy life in peace.
Li Feng turned his head and saw me, he hurriedly pulled his parents and urged him to go home. I don’t know how I got back to his house, and I don’t know what he said later, anyway, I finally found out that his parents are 50 years old this year, which is not too old, and they don’t want to do any work anymore. I just expect my son to make money to support me, and all the questions I ask my future daughter-in-law are about family background and income.
They may be satisfied with my answer, and their attitude towards me is not bad, but I broke up with Li Feng after I came back. He said that I knew you would mind that my parents didn’t work, but think about it, although they didn’t work, they might help me take care of the children and do housework. Don’t you want to have the help of your husband’s family? Doesn’t this count? It must be in the form of money.
I smiled and said, can you believe this? When your parents are 50 years old, they started to take care of the elderly confidently, without thinking about their son’s future life at all. Do you think they will help take care of the children with housework? How hard it is, they can’t do it. Parents who only think about themselves, don’t expect them to have any help, it will only be a burden. Although it is right to provide for parents, I cannot accept parents who start to provide for them at the age of 50.
Later, when I insisted on breaking up, he angrily said that I was realistic. Just let me be realistic. Although I like him, I don’t want to raise his parents together from now on just because I like him. I don’t want to live a life where we cut down on food and clothing after marriage, and my natal family provides all kinds of support, but my in-laws rely on us to enjoy the happy life. I couldn’t accept it, and I didn’t feel that I was wrong, so I broke up. I was right, love can only need feelings, but marriage is not enough.