When your child is diagnosed
Depression
, usually the first reaction of parents is either “how is it possible?” eloquent.
Psychologist Rong Xinqi believes that if parents are also caught in the
Emotions
The low tide, troubles with the child, there is no way to further help the child get out of the haze, “For parents with depressed teenagers at home, it is the most important thing to stabilize their steps and stabilize their emotions. Ring.”
It can be difficult for parents not to be emotionally affected by learning that their child has depression. So, how can parents adjust to their physical and mental stress?
Clinically, it is not easy for parents to stabilize their emotions. Even though it has been diagnosed that the child has depression, the parents’ psychology is still “back and forth, denying, resisting, not admitting, not believing…the child they love the most actually has this disease.” Some parents even attribute their children’s illness to their own failure to fulfill their responsibilities or lack of ability to cause their children to get sick.
Most children with depression will be affected by their homework. However, “some parents attribute their children’s falling grades to being lazy and not motivated. Children are avoiding responsibility.” In fact, children with depression often demand perfection. Most parents generally lack common sense about depression. Therefore, how to seek external support and obtain information is a very important part.
Before parents are willing to look for popular science information, we suggest that they must maintain an open, absorbing, and learning attitude, and admit that they really need to face a depressed child in the medium (long-term) period . This stage is the most difficult, because you are afraid of losing face, or worry that if you talk about it, others will not understand it, and you are even worried about causing a burden to others.
When parents first take care of a depressed child, they often focus on the child and the disease and have no time to take care of themselves. It is recommended that parents spend at least half of their time taking care of themselves every day. Ignore this. When parents take good care of themselves, children can not only gain strength from their parents, but more importantly, they can give children a direct demonstration role, so that children can see how parents deal with this pressure.
Professor Rong Xinqi reminded that in the process of self-care, parents should always cheer for themselves and always say good things to themselves. Because one of the characteristics of depression is that it is self-demanding and difficult to be satisfied with, parents should also check themselves for this tendency. Parents can think about “what do you admire the most about being with your child for so long?” As long as there is something you have done well, you should affirm yourself, and you don’t have to wait for the child to fully recover before giving yourself extra points.
On the other hand, parents should also adjust their expectations for their children. Some children ask their parents unabashedly, “Why do I have to live as tired as you?” Rong Xinqi believes that, Parents should appropriately reflect on and review whether they have too much pressure and expectations for their children, and whether they have improperly disciplined their children. However, Professor Rong Xinqi reminded, “There is no need to blame yourself too much. help.”
Emotions are contagious. Children are usually more worried if they see their parents looking sad; when their parents are less worried, in addition to being more positive and confident, they are also more worried. Do not pass anxiety on to children. However, there is no need to overcorrect. It is not that parents cannot have any emotions at all. Frowning will increase the anxiety of the child, and it is not healthy for parents to be overly depressed.
Secondly, when there is a depressive child in the family, the whole family has to devote themselves to the ranks of caring together. Many parents or children have their lives too full, but do they need to be so full? , don’t be so full to re-arrange the order of life, it is a very important way to decompress. Some families will entrust the heavy responsibility of caring to a specific person. In fact, it is better to divide the labor and cooperate, because everyone will have emotions and feel tired. It is recommended to coordinate the time in advance, take turns taking care of each other, reserve breathing space, and encourage each other.
Long-term care of children is also an important part of self-emotional management. Deep breathing is the fastest and most effective method. If the environment permits, play a piece of music you like and sing a song to express your emotions. Great way. Rong Xinqi said, “Leave the scene and cool yourself first.” “Find a place to rest, like a corner of the kitchen, make a cup of tea, and think about what to do next today.”
There are, of course, many ways to release emotions, such as allowing yourself to cry, writing down thoughts or feelings at the time, exercising (including swimming, running, lifting weights, etc.), taking a hot bath or shower Take a bath, find someone to chat with, or cuddle pets, dolls, etc. that can comfort you.
Rong Xinqi said that there are many effective methods, too many to enumerate, but “if you don’t use them frequently, you won’t be able to use them when you need them; all methods should be commonly used and used well at ordinary times.Just come in handy. She further advises, “Train your inner view,” reminding yourself when your anger is just rising, but not very high, that you need to “cool down before you can solve the problem.” “Take a step back and open the sky” is a very useful sentence. It depends on whether a person is used to thinking like this. You can train yourself to think like this, which is very useful for cooling down your emotions.