< strong>01
Man cheating
Women always feel that they are not good
The vast majority of women, when there is a problem in their intimate relationship, their first thought is – I am not good enough.
If you encounter cheating, They are even more convinced:There must be something wrong with me; even if they divorce him, they may not be able to find a better one.
Therefore, after being cheated, women often try to change themselves in order to restore the relationship.
Some women go to beauty parlors to get hyaluronic acid, breast augmentation surgery, buy New sexy underwear, expensive cosmetics, to enhance the attractiveness of appearance;
There are also women who hope to grow spiritually, become “class bugs”, and attend various emotional counseling classes as if rushing to the market.
Of course, regardless of the promotion Appearance or upgrading the mind are both good paths for self-improvement.
Just if you When doing these efforts, the psychological motivation has always been “I am not good enough”, so no matter how beautiful you become and how high your EQ is, when you return to your relationship to solve the problem again, you will still be trembling, and you will get twice the result with half the effort.
02
No matter what you do
Don’t be too wronged yourself< /strong>
Husband cheated, what to do is the smartest thing to do?
The answer to this question , roughly divided into three categories:
< span> Divide the property well and leave in style.
Take revenge on the scumbag and the mistress, ruining them.
Efforts to restore and reunite.
Women with strong self-esteem will mostly choose the above two. The best outcome after an affair seems to be to walk away with the money and the thrill of revenge and find true love somewhere else.
In comparison, If you choose to forgive, restore, and reconcile, it is easy to be labeled as “cowardly” and “hypocritical”.
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So, in the face of the pain point of “I am not good enough”, how to heal?
Please learn to accept Who you are, including your emotions and beliefs.
You don’t have to hide Emotions, pretending to be strong, not caring. A woman who allows her emotions to flow naturally is alive.
See as it is Your inner “I’m not good enough” and all the fears that come from it.
Tell yourself, I Seeing that I have such beliefs, I am still willing to accept myself.
Don’t judge right from wrong , no need to blame.
You can be strong, It can also be weak, even very “cowardly”. No matter what you are, whether you are “good enough” or not, you are worthy of self-love and being loved.
03
Women cheat< /p>
Men mostly pretend not to know
I saw a question interaction on the Internet: what kind of experience is it to be handsome?
In the comment area, There are many men posting photos of themselves, and enumerating all kinds of “troubles” brought about by being handsome – being chased by girls at school, becoming the darling of female leaders after work, and having frequent encounters while traveling…
Women who saw the photos expressed their admiration for China man’s self-confidence.
Indeed, compared For women, men are very arrogant in many cases. Even when they encounter serious injuries such as being derailed, they will do their best to maintain a heroic image, and they will not leak anything.
Excellence in the eyes of men , including occupying absolute dominance emotionally. Being derailed means the complete loss of dominance, which is a complete shame.
I saw a man who, after being betrayed by his wife, made a date A friend went to a small restaurant to drink and drank Erguotou silently. After drinking for a long time, I suddenly burst into tears, and said many times “Why is she? Why is she doing this to me?”
Men have a competitive gene in their bones, and they are never willing to “lose”. When their wives cheat, the first feeling they give them is not necessarily hurt, but “losing face”.
We always feel that, Most of the time in marriage, it is men who cheat, but it is not necessarily true.
A woman finds her husband cheating , will go to girlfriends and family members to cry and complain, and when a man finds out that his wife is cheating, he will cover up the truth most of the time, and he is unwilling to let more people know. Anxiety, let alone talk.
Everything is to maintain dignity.
As a result, we will see many men who are derailed After that I was completely in a stiff, frozen state, unable to solve the problem.
04
Be honest with yourself
is the beginning of growth
There are often women complaining: Why are almost all women who read emotional articles, and women who take the initiative to make changes, while men act like they have nothing to do with themselves?
Leave this Psychologically unbalanced mentality, indeed, if a man is willing to let go of his defenses a little and take the initiative to grow emotionally, he will definitely have a different experience.
When a man is willing to try to get close to his heart, no longer force himself to show the right , Excellent state, his growth began.
For men , after encountering emotional betrayal, the most important thing is to have the courage to break the restrictive belief that “I must be excellent” and see your true state of mind.
want to do this A little bit, you can ask yourself 3 questions:
What annoys me the most?
What am I afraid/worried about?
What is my responsibility for this matter?
Answer these 3 questions honestly, without making excuses. Only by accepting the lack is the real excellence; only by accepting the fragility can we achieve real strength.
Healing was derailed The fundamental method is not to change the other person and pretend nothing happened, but to go back to one’s own heart, slowly loosen restrictions, repression, accusations and demands on oneself, and cultivate solid self-love and deep self-respect.
This way Only then will you be able to face your marriage with confidence, and you will no longer have to belittle yourself or bluff.