Author: Wang Zhongzhong
The latest type of traffic wealth password has appeared, that is to become everyone’s “internet mouth replacement”.
Netizens who love 5G surfing should notice that this emerging word is swiping on countless social networking platforms. Internet mouth replacement, as the name suggests, refers to the “fairy netizens” who can speak our hearts out when surfing the Internet.
My favorite internet lip service, bar none. / Weibo@Fugitive Internet Mouth Substitute
“It’s really nice to have your thoughts perfectly expressed, even if it’s not your own mouth.”
Recently, an “internet mouthpiece” has taken the lead, and I have to mention Jiang Zihao, who came out of the circle with a “crazy performance” in this season of “Talk Show”.
“Everyone should know that a young man in his twenties working in a foreign land, ordinary and ordinary are the norm.”
A confident admission on stage that you are jealous of your young and promising peers may be just a joke to the performer, but to the enthusiastically applauding audience, it may be spoken out Heart recognition.
After all, we hear less and less of “jealousy” in real life. It seems like a hard thing to admit to being jealous of others.
In this era of “jealousy”, maybe we only need one sentence:
“It’s normal for people in their twenties to be jealous of others!”
Envy and jealousy, so close and so far
Young people who are reluctant to speak out about “jealousy” have invented more new terms to describe the sourness of this “psychological imbalance”. Even more advanced than “mouth replacement”, I directly found “material replacement” – lemon.
Are you “sour” today?
You, me and him under the lemon tree, venting the anguish in my heart with “sour words” is probably the most common manifestation of “jealousy” among young people today Scenes.
Lemon Essence Everyday.
Since the department has a new colleague, Xiaona, who is the editor of the official account of an Internet company in Beijing, will become a “lemon essence” from time to time.
Because the company mainly relies on paid knowledge courses for revenue, the KPI assessments of Xiaona and her colleagues are both linked to drainage. To put it simply, the higher the data traffic of the push content they are responsible for, the better the performance, which belongs to the “100,000 plus anxiety” common to new media people.
The iron law of new media, explosions are metaphysics, and no one can predict when the next explosion will come.
It is so painful to meet the draft, why hurt each other.
“I understand the truth, but it’s hard not to have lemons”, there are only two editors in the department, Xiaona confessed that she couldn’t control herself to “comparison” with her new colleagues, it was difficult to say whether the leaders would not I would also think so, especially if my new colleagues still have a bit of “luck” on them—
New colleagueIn less than half a year, they have already made a big hit with 400,000 traffic. The daily reading volume of the account they operate is about 20,000, and Xiaona, as an “old fritters” with two years of working experience, has the highest push traffic. Only more than 200,000.
When she realized that she said “it’s only more than 200,000”, Xiaona had to admit that she had succumbed to the emotion of “jealousy”. For meaningless comparison, she Depreciate the value of the work you have created.
“Actually, I haven’t faced the issue of ‘jealousy’ very much, because I vaguely feel that this is wrong.” Xiaona, who has “jealous and shame” in her subconscious mind, even if He is reluctant to admit it to the closest family members.
How to describe “jealousy” gracefully.
“If I have to say it, I’m jealous of those who are confident, maybe because I have low self-esteem.” Xiaona believes that it is not easy for a person to fall into jealousy, which is also related to personality, such as her This high-sensitivity personality is often troubled by sensitive emotional problems, can only find a way to solve it, that is, “find the cause from myself”.
“Jealousy is not innate, it is staged.” Chen Puti, who majored in psychology in college, recalled the last time he was jealous , it was almost 3 years ago.
It was a wedding. The bride was her closest senior in college. The love experience between the senior and her husband was like a fairy tale coming into reality, “Cinderella married the prince, and then live a happy life.”
A state of life in which whoever sees is jealous. /unsplash
Senior sister was doted on by her husband, and her whole person’s state changed visibly with the naked eye. Although “now I feel that this kind of jealousy limited by secular regulations is too boring”, Chen Pu at that time Mention admits that he is indeed “red-eyed”.
According to Chen Puti’s definition of “staged jealousy”, being jealous of others is usually before the age of 25, when most people “read too little and their knowledge is too narrow” (representing only her own ), now that I figure it out, I won’t feel jealous anymore, just focus on doing what I really love.
“If I meet someone I’m jealous of now, it’s more because I think they’re awesome. I want to learn from them and how they succeed.”
As Chen Puti has experienced different stages of jealousy in his life, perhaps what we need more than pure jealousy is to learn to deal with jealousy properly.
Some negative examples of “jealousy”. / “Little Times”
Jealousy can also cure mental stress
Jealousy is considered a “harmful emotion” in large part because most people perceive it as one of the “Seven Deadly Sins of Humanity”, which may be the biggest “misunderstanding” that jealousy has ever experienced. “.
According to psychologist Wu Zhihong, what we often call “jealousy/jealousy” is “jealousy”, and in the seven deadly sins is envy, which is “envy”.
It is also easy to distinguish between the two. Jealousy is the belief that “I should have something, but I don’t have it”; envy is “I don’t have this thing, and no one else can get it.” , so I’m going to destroy it.”
If you don’t get it, you will destroy it. This is the psychology that villains only have. / “Little Fish and Flowers”
Jealousy is defined in psychology as: in social comparison, an unpleasant experience an individual experiences when he realizes that others have what they try to have but lack.Feelings of happiness manifested as a mixture of inferiority complex, hostility and resentment.
In Shakespeare, jealousy is described as a “green-eyed monster”; in China, jealousy is more commonly referred to as “pink eye” “.
“Eyes” play an integral role in the emergence of this emotion, and it also indicates that jealousy often occurs when “seeing” the achievements of others.
“Devil Behavior”. / “Good Omen”
And this other person is usually “the person in front of us”: we tend to envy the people around us who have real contact with us.
We generally only get jealous in areas we value, or when our own interests are threatened.
From the perspectives of resource competition and similarity, whether it is a same-sex friend, sibling or classmate, the more similar the envied person is to us, the more we experience jealousy is stronger.
As Freud said in Totem and Taboo: Jealousy is an emotional state that, like sadness, can be attributed to normality. If a person does not appear to be jealous, he must have experienced severe depression.
Psychodynamics represented by Freud believes that envy is the deepest fear and desire of human beings in the subconscious. / “Black Swan”
The way to “cure” jealousy is to free yourself from repressed emotions.
Being jealous of others for three days can also cure mental internal friction. As long as you choose the correct way to resolve it, you will not be dominated by negative emotions.
For example, learn from the “Second Uncle” Zhang Wuji in the jealous world:
“He is as strong as he is, and the breeze blows the hills.”
Francis once said, “Jealousy is a weak arrogance and should be despised.” But in fact, it is not the emotions themselves that deserve to be despised, but us who are unwilling to face them. / “The Legend of Heaven and Dragon Slayer”
Envy and jealousy are both “blessed”
Who is most likely to be envied? Everyone should be able to guess the answer, that is, friends.
So, must jealous friendships break down? It could also be the name of another great friendship.
We define this contradictory friendship as an “enemy”—a relationship of mutual envy and admiration, but the relationship is more than denigrating and hurting Both parties in the relationship will turn this jealousy into motivation.
“The Neapolitan Quartet,” the original text of the Italian TV series “My Gifted Girlfriend,” tells the story of such a friendship that is both foe and friend.
The two heroines, Lila and Lennon, have known each other since childhood. They often compete with each other silently, and you chase after me, but this does not prevent them from becoming best friends who support each other for life. important lighthouse.
Women from poor families share a common goal of escaping the town. Even though their life trajectories became more and more different later, they were still “jealous” of each other’s lives, but as long as only one of them can escape the fate of their destiny, that is their common victory.
The sympathy under the female destiny community overcomes the negative impact of jealousy. / “My Gifted Girlfriend”
Envy that is “useless” for an individual is usually just a subjective feeling. However, individuals who are held in a “contradictory state” by jealousy have a cognitive conflict between “failed social comparison results” (they are inferior to others) and “the individual’s own positive evaluation of himself”.
In order to resolve this conflict, envy has become a psychological strategy to balance the contradiction of self-perception, which is our self-defense strategy against “external germs” invading the mind.
Even if “jealousy” is so unpopular, we should be thankful: When we are still jealous, at least it proves that we are still with the “negative self” Fighting, we’re still trying to maintain our self-esteem and believing that we have better possibilities.
And when we extend this “mind defense mechanism” as a way to protect ourselves and others, it starts with acknowledging jealousy.
It’s “I envy you”, it’s also “I admire you”, it’s “I want to be you” and a better version of myself.
After all, we are still young, “it’s normal to be jealous of others”!
[1] One sentence from a talk show cured my mental internal friction ｜ Wu Zhihong
[2] The lemon head of station B is on fire, why is it embarrassing to share? ｜ DT Towers
[3] Why do we envy our best friends? ｜ Have you studied sociology?
[4] When we are jealous of others, we are actually in “self-defense” ｜ Jingshi University of Psychology
[5] Inexplicable Hatred – Talk About Jealousy | Miracle Grocery
[6] Do cats and dogs really get jealous? ｜ Leviathan