It is said that “an old companion is rare in life”. In our understanding, the person who is closest to him in his later years must be his wife first, followed by his children. After all, when we are old, our parents who love us the most are gone, and at that time, there is no one who can accompany us until we grow old, except for the wife, so the wife is the closest person to us in our later years.

However, when many elderly people reach their old age, they complain one after another: “In old age, the person closest to you is not your wife!” Why? Let’s listen to the personal experiences of three retired seniors, which are very realistic and heart-wrenching.

1. 63-year-old Aunt Lu

My wife and I were introduced by a matchmaker for flash marriage , We didn’t have too much love, we only met a few times and got married in a hasty manner. In those days, there were still a lot of people who did this, especially women like us who married into the city. Most of them did this. Some even went on a blind date on the same day and got married the next day.

Although it is said that we got married without falling in love, but when my wife was young, she was still a very honest person, yes she was good, there was no quarrel, no What a difference. However, that all changed when I had three children for him.

When I was pregnant at first, he said that it was good to have boys and girls, but the three children born were daughters one by one, and his attitude towards me was not good. , said I was a useless woman who could not give birth to a son. From then on, my wife didn’t pay much attention to me, and even wanted to find another woman to have a baby, but he had a special job and couldn’t abandon me.

In this way, he and I live a well-known life, and he saves his salary every month and never gives it to me, and if I want to spend some money, I have to Earn money on your own, want his money, just like with the creditor’s money, if you have it, you won’t give it.

In the past, many sisters in the countryside thought that I was very happy when I married in the city, and my wife was a civil servant. But I feel that marrying a patriarchal wife, no matter how rich or qualified, will be unhappy.

After retirement, my three daughters all married into good families, and my wife’s attitude towards me was a little better. But the family is still the big one, because I have not participated in any formal work, and I have been a housewife at home for half my life, so I have no pension, and the only source of income when I am old is the pension of my wife, or my three daughters. filial piety. Passive old age like this is hard to say. Others have wealth and freedom when they are old, but I have to look at my wife’s face for everything. If you want to buy a piece of clothes, you have to apply for it with your wife, and if you want to spend some pocket money, you have to pick up and save it from the food expenses.

If it weren’t for these three filial daughters, I really want to divorce him. This kind of marriage is not happy at all. There is no money and no status. Rely on men, and men are lukewarm to me. Therefore, I think the closest person in my later years should be my daughter, not my wife. Without my daughters, I really don’t know how to live with him.

2. Aunt He, 67 years old

Although my wife and I have been married for more than 40 years , but there is no relationship between us. We had it when we first got married, but he killed it a little bit later.

When I am in love, I feel that a carefree, domineering and straight-minded wife will be a man worth relying on. But after a few years of marriage, the character of my wife made me unbearable. Because what I once thought was domineering and righteous, turned into violent and reckless in the end.

My wife speaks loudly and loudly, whether it is outsiders or my own family, it is like setting off firecrackers, crackling. This is true every time I drink, and it is even more lawless when I drink.

I am very afraid of him, because sometimes he has no humanity, and he will be disgusted by saying a few words to him. He has always said something about the family, and I cannot say it. two. When I talked too much, his temper came up, and he scolded me and beat me severely. Neighbors around our house are also very afraid of him, because my wife often makes trouble everywhere. People originally care about our family, but in his eyes, he thinks that the neighbors are here to point fingers and meddle in their own affairs. Several times, I also fought with the neighbors over a trivial matter, which made our family and the surrounding people very different.

My two children are also afraid of the death of their wife, and they rarely come back after college. After graduation, I was willing to stay in a big city to rent a house to get married and have children, but I didn’t want to come back to us. After they had a baby, I asked them to bring the baby back and I’d take care of it, but the children said that with such a grandfather at home, how could they rest assured to keep their children in their hometown.

Now that we are all retired, my wife’s temperament is somewhat restrained, but it is also annoying. I do nothing every day, just go out to eat, drink and play cards. It would be fine if he could play peacefully, but he is a troublemaker. If he loses in poker, he can’t drink enough, and if he gets ridiculed by others, he will make trouble with others and get into the police station several times. . Whenever something happened to him, I went to persuade him, but he said that I was a bitch, and I didn’t have the right to control him. If I said a few more words, he would take his anger on me.

In the more than ten years since I retired, my wife and I have been in the same house with different hearts. I can’t care about him, and he will not care about me, whether I am sick or not.

I haven’t been at home for several days, and he won’t come to care about me. If I say something bad, maybe I’m gone, and he won’t cry! Therefore, “few husbands and wives are old companions” and “old companions are rare in life” are all bullshit to me. When people are old, the closest people are only themselves and their children.

3. 66-year-old Aunt Liang

My wife and I are married until now, although Half a life has passed, but I have not lived a day of peace of mind. I used to think that my wife was a very down-to-earth man who would please me, but after getting married, I found out that he is actually a typical “mother boy”. After all, if I marry him, I have no status and no rights.

Although I gave birth to two sons for their family after my marriage, I was not treated well either. My mother-in-law kicked me out two months after giving birth to my second son. Go to Work. I cried to my wife, and I said that I was weak, that I didn’t recover much after giving birth, and I didn’t have the energy to go to work. But my wife said, “It’s been four months since you gave birth, why do you still want to rest? My mother thinks you can go to work, so you can!” Later, my body and bones were always very bad, and minor illnesses and pains kept coming back and forth. complex.

It’s okay to have no status at home, nor do you have economic dominance. My salary is used by my wife as living expenses, and his money is used to save it for my mother-in-law. If I want to spend a lot of money, I have to pass through my mother-in-law’s hands. Later, I learned that they were actually afraid that I would give money to my family, because my family at the time couldn’t compare to their family’s life. In their eyes, I was a sugar daddy. Therefore, they are always on guard against me. Even when I go back to my parents’ house, my mother-in-law arranges gifts, which are similar to the red envelopes.

And now, we are old, our mother-in-law has passed away, and our children have started their own families. But my wife, like my mother-in-law, still guarded against me. My pension was taken away by him a long time ago. His excuse was very good, saying that I was a daughter and would not use money. But in fact, he was brainwashed by his mother-in-law, who always wanted to control me and make me submit to him.

Many people think that when you are old, it is good to have a wife by your side, someone to rely on someone to accompany you, but I think it will be better without him, right? Because I have been married to him for 40 years, I have never been a hostess, as if it was a “free babysitter” he married who could give birth to a baby. Therefore, the closest people to others are their wives, but the one I don’t like the most is my wives. They live happily because of their wives for the rest of their lives, but I live a humble life because of this wives.

Concluding remarks:

After listening to the personal experiences of these three elderly people, I realized that I would actually think that “the wife is not Most of the “closest” women are affected by the following situations: 1. A marriage that is barely made up, without real feelings; 2. The family environment is not good, snobbish, patriarchal, and mama’s men; 3. Men are selfish, or have a bad temper and so on.

But no matter who is the closest person in our later years, we must maintain a good attitude and face it. If we can’t rely on our wife, we rely on ourselves. There is no need to feel guilty and sad because of whether your wife is good or not. If you feel sorry for yourself, try to enrich your life, cultivate more hobbies, and let yourself live more casually, so you will see Very open, some of the troubles around you will slowly dissipate.

Women should be born to the sun, live out themselves, don’t rely on men for everything!