Background: One day, I selected some clothes in an unremarkable niche store. At that time, the feeling was minimal and neat. When I wore it out, I was told that this style was “frigid style”, God! First time hearing about this style! Then I checked it out, and it turned out to be overwhelming reports. From fashion magazines in newsstands, popular urban film and television programs, to Uniqlo, MUJI, H&M, and IKEA, people are increasingly exposed to “frigid” designs, especially those with “frigidity” as their personal style. Clothing and clothing are popular with everyone.
Frigid wind, the English word Normcore, a compound word composed of “Normal” (Chinese meaning: regular) and “Hardcore” (Chinese meaning: hard core), which means to let regular The style is infinitely close to plain, thus becoming beyond the routine, giving the routine shape a hard-core expression, emphasizing minimalism and restraint, and representing the advanced wisdom of eliminating complexity and seeking simplicity. “Frigid style”, with its own style, high cold and compelling style.
Image source: Zhanku Hailuo
By the way, what does this have to do with our topic today? Don’t worry, we’ll talk slowly.
The “frigidity wind” we are talking about actually came out of the “frigidity” in the medical dictionary, penetrated into the field of popular culture, and spread to clothing, furniture, architecture, interior, Even home appliances, mobile phones, etc., are labeled as “frigid”, forming a trend.
From a long time ago, in fact, among women, “frigidity” has long been a popular saying. Even “frigidity” represents a kind of “chastity”, which can be favored by the public and become a proud advertiser…
In short, frigidity seems to be a word full of praise! Is it really?
I personally don’t think so!
1. Frigidity – no fornication, but chastity
Our country has been influenced by thousands of years of feudal ideology, and wrong sexual concepts have led to the suppression of women’s sexuality.
For example: If a woman, when asked about sex, answers: I have a high sex drive, I want it every day…and another woman, shyly, answers: I Some frigid.
How do you judge these two women from your first impression?
No matter how objective and open you are, you who have experienced Chinese education may be inclined to most of the choices. In our existing culture, the choice of most people may have given the answer on the side: be ashamed of sexual desire and proud of coldness.
The kind of arrogant, coldness that doesn’t seem to carry any “stench and filth” will reflect a shadow – people see it as a white lotus, clean, principled, morally perfect, and even, In a mysterious nook in the heart, a subtle sense of holiness arises, increasing trust and respect for no reason.
Frigidity just caters to the world’s perception: no sexual pleasure, no sexual needs, no possibility of fornication, and chastity.
Image source: Zhanku Hailuo
Frigidity, which represents self-restraint and repression, conforms to the traditional Chinese concept of sexuality. Some women are deeply “benefited” and naturally follow, admire and imitate.
Second, Frigidity – The Errors of Sex Education and Sexual Enlightenment
Perhaps the sex education that Chinese people used to “talk about sexual degeneration” is still popular in our society, which undoubtedly leads to the lack of proper mastery of sexual science knowledge.
After the 1980s, we basically have no sex education.
No one has ever taught us what sex is with scientific, systematic education.
Parents don’t, schools don’t, and textbooks don’t.
Because, no matter who, from any angle, talking about sex seems to make people feel that it is “dirty”.
Image source: Zhanku Hailuo
So, in those days of hormone stimulation, many people began to look for and be attracted to pornographic novels, hearsay, and pirated video discs, which combined wrongly Sexual enlightenment.
In the sex education girls get, if a girl is rated as “excellent in bed”, it is not a great shame, but it is enough to be uncomfortable and be pointed at the back , scoffed; on the contrary, if a girl was judged “The bed is very jerky”, because of the lack of skills and experience, there is an inexplicable pride in the virgin land to be developed.
Many girls will give up exploring in bed, passively perfunctory, and lack of sexual interest. Knowing little about sex makes women who do not understand self-protection extremely traumatized and painful. Under the heavy shadows, fear is uneasy.
means unclean, passive, shameful, victimized sex education, which binds women and leads to frigidity.
Three, Frigidity – Rejecting Dissatisfaction
Image source: Zhanku Hailuo
1. Some women may have experienced sexual harm, or have had unpleasant or even painful social life experiences. For example, after some women enter society, because they do not know how to protect themselves, they feel that sex life is only for men “One-way vent” for women.
2. Problems with marital quality, negative parental attitudes towards sex and emotions, in addition to their own emotional discord or even rupture, disharmony in sex life (dissatisfaction with time, method, intensity) , For them, in addition to being considered to be “fulfilling the obligations of husband and wife”, sex life is not fun in reality, and it is not necessary to carry out.
Psychologically, many women will feel uncomfortable, irritable, and restless because the instinctual sexual impulse energy cannot be properly vented, and the mental excitement cannot be relaxed and relaxed. touch, and therefore reject sex.
Physically, as long as a healthy and normal woman is driven by sex hormones in her body, she will naturally have a physiological need for sex.
Female sexual physiology is characterized by a large amount of pelvic tissue congestion during sexual excitement, the accumulated sexual impulse energy can only be released when orgasm is reached, and pelvic congestion can only be released after orgasm is reached. will disappear quickly.
Long-term disharmonious and sexually depressed women will have chronic congestion and even gynecological diseases because the pelvic congestion during sexual excitement cannot be returned in time, so they gradually refuse sex.
In short, frigidity is dissatisfaction and rejection of existing life.
Fourth, Frigidity – False Self-imprisonment
For some people who do not feel that sex is a necessity or have never thought about it, they can go days, weeks, or years without sex; Life they will be allergic, inattention, unhappy.
There is also a category of people who do what they can when someone wants to have sex with them, but never think about it when no one wants to have sex with them.
Image source: Zhanku Hailuo
But this is not what we are talking about, but this: Some people, through sexual indifference, imprison their hearts, and persistently leave the love that should not be brought into life to another person!
In her heart, she may have never loved all of the things in front of her. Everything she has is in her dust-sealed box, and everything in the box is worthy of her nostalgia, yearning and stubbornness. She couldn’t accept what was in front of her, she would rather lose interest, rather be indifferent…
This is the most terrifying kind of indifference in marriage.
Use sexual indifference and taboo a series of sex, which seems to be the greatest cruelty to the other party!
Written at the end, broken thoughts
Desires come, go, and come and go over time.
Sex, like food, is an instinct. It has nothing to do with morality, and there is no shame or honor.
Sex is not a lewd and evil thing to talk about, nor is it a sacrifice, nor is it a gavel to judge a woman, but the most ordinary pleasure in the world.
Frigidity is nothing to be proud of!
If you still feel that way, maybe you are still being misled by the ideology in your mind.
Hope you all stay healthy and healthy.
References:
[1] Lu Lin. Shen Yu Psychiatry. Beijing: People’s Health Publishing House. 2017.
[2] Chai Yu. Sexual desire taken away. Chinese Medicine Health. 2019.6: 23-24.
[3] Fan Zhijun. Simplicity, Minimalism or “Frigidity”? Chinese Art. 2017.64-65.
[4] Qing Mu. N Reasons for Female Frigidity. Chinese Medicine Guide. 2004. 03: 13-16.
[5] Hu Tingyi, Zhang Zhiqiang, Hu Xiaoling. Etiological analysis of 700 cases of female frigidity and lack of sexuality. Journal of Practical Obstetrics and Gynecology. 1999.10(3):131-132.
[6] Chu Ming. Self-regulation of Frigidity. Friends of Health.2002.27.
[7] Zhou Ying. Discussing the truth behind the “frigid” style. Design. 2017.3.
[8] Li Pan. The “cold sacrifice” in contemporary visual culture. Art appreciation. 2016.11.
This article is reproduced with permission from “Things in Psychiatry”.