When I interact with people, I never look at the identity of the other person, how influential they are, or what benefits and convenience they can bring to me. My only principle is honesty. Many friends persuaded me that this era is all about human relationships and relationships, and if you don’t engage in relationships, you will suffer a lot, but I don’t seem to suffer any loss. My friends have three kinds of teachings and nine ranks, and there are all kinds of people. There are blind people who sing filial piety, beggars, peasants, officials, small staff, and elites from all walks of life. In short, those who are willing to communicate with me with a sincere heart can become my friends. However, most of my friends are farmers. I treat them with sincerity, and they are willing to treat me with sincerity. Some of them are even willing to give their hearts to me. Why? Because of my sincerity.
So I think that what people need in dealing with people is only sincerity. Treat others the way you want others to treat you. No matter what excuses you have, don’t cheat others, don’t lie to others, and don’t take advantage of others. So, even if you can’t be friends, you can definitely win the respect of others.
I also always tell my students that life is fleeting, life is impermanent, and the most cherished thing in the world is true love. There is no need to be observant to please others, nor to deliberately manage interpersonal relationships. It doesn’t matter if you offend people, cause misunderstandings, or even get hurt. No matter what, the world is changing. No matter how big or small, it will pass quickly. Comparing is meaningless. The only thing that matters is happiness, understanding, and sincerity in the moment. I never took the time to explain something, and I didn’t bother to care about who “hurt” me. I always forget the “hurt” and always feel like I haven’t been hurt.
Of course, my personality that likes to tell the truth and don’t like to talk about scenes has caused me to be scolded since I was a child. When I was studying, I was scolded by my teachers; when I went to work, I was scolded by my boss; when I was at home, I was scolded by my wife. I have learned a lot, but I have been “unrepentant”, so I have become today’s Xue Mo.
It is undeniable that some people will inevitably feel that I lack magnanimity and do not understand tolerance. I also have a hard time dealing with relationships and getting everyone to like me. However, I think that the mission of a writer is not to please readers and make readers happy, but to contribute good works. Because the expression of novels has certain limitations, I will seize any opportunity to tell the truth, tell readers my thoughts and insights, and communicate with readers with sincerity. No matter what I get, I don’t care.
Writers who don’t understand always think I’m arrogant. In fact, I’m not arrogant, I just say what I think in my heart. Many people seem very humble on the surface, saying that they can’t do this or that, but inwardly they don’t think much of the success of others, and they are even very critical. They say “admiration and admiration” in their mouths, but in their hearts they say, “What’s so great about him? Isn’t it just how?” This kind of person doesn’t look at others’ strengths or learn from others. Cowardly, withdrawn. This kind of mental dislocation has led to many failures, but many people do not know it at all.
Therefore, if you want to progress, grow, and succeed, the first thing you must do is nothing else, but to be honest with yourself and others with sincerity. Don’t kid yourself.
Selected from “Lao Tzu’s Mind–Xue Boiled “Tao Te Ching” Part 1 “Xuemo XUEMO