Su Daqiang in “Everything Is Good” once put “Alzheimer’s Disease” on the hot search.
He made various “actions” in the play, but in the end he was completely wiped out because of this illness.
At one time, I thought Alzheimer’s disease was far away.
It wasn’t until my parents both had Alzheimer’s that I realized that TV shows were just a tiny snapshot of life.
With two “Su Daqiang” at the same time, I have to work hard to earn money and take care of two sick patients, which can be said to be worse than Su Mingyu’s bitterness. But the love for my parents keeps me sticking to this day.
Am I your mother or are you my mother?
Last winter, a phone call completely changed the trajectory of my life.
I remember that after 10 o’clock that night, I called home and asked what my mother was doing?
She said she was eating, I was very puzzled, why did she eat so late, and then I learned that she often only eats two meals a day, because her head is confused and often can’t remember the time, in the afternoon Breakfast is made at 3 o’clock, lunch at 10 o’clock in the evening, or even in the middle of the night.
I often leave wet trousers on the bed, and my house has changed from orderly to messy.
At that time, I was in the fierce battle stage of starting a business. Every day I was full of investment, advertising, and profit.
But knowing that my mother couldn’t eat three meals a day at home, I was not calm.
No matter how much money I earn, my mother can’t even eat hot food, and she instantly feels that success is all nonsense.
After thinking about it for about a minute, I made up my mind. The next day, I drove more than 1,000 kilometers back and forth to take my parents from Liuzhou, Guangxi to Guangzhou.
The first thing I did after I came to Guangzhou was to see a doctor. It turned out that my father had frontotemporal dementia and my mother had Alzheimer’s disease.
She doesn’t remember me anymore, and sometimes “you are my mother” will pop up, making me laugh and cry.
Well, you used to be my mom, now I’m your mom. Let me take care of you.
Spending is 10,000 times faster than earning
Although they suffer from different Alzheimer’s disease, they all take similar medicines. The current medicines for Alzheimer’s disease are donepezil, memantine and ristigmine, all of which are very expensive. Adding up, the monthly medical expenses are as high as 3,000 yuan, which is still the cost of basic medical care.
Once my mother fell and hit the corner of the table in the middle of the night, and a hole was torn on her forehead, causing blood to flow all over the place. I covered her with a dry towel, and the towel was stained red with blood. After I washed it three times, it was stained red again.
I was very afraid in my heart, afraid that she would just leave like this, but I comforted her: “Don’t be afraid! It’s alright, I’m here.” So I sent her to her at midnight. In the hospital, filming, stopping the bleeding and going home at 6 am.
It cost more than 500 yuan to take CT scans, and more than 100 yuan to stop bleeding. This situation is commonplace for two elderly people with dementia… p>
Once they both had a stroke and were admitted to the hospital, even with the reimbursement of medical insurance in other places, I was overwhelmed.
The hospital did not allow family members to sleep on a rollaway bed, so I had to sleep on the hospital floor for a week.
Two elderly people are more like two children when they are sick. They often fight over trivial matters, making the doctors and nurses cry.
Even their primary doctor says I’m a superman because ordinary people go crazy when this happens!
I do feel that I have really become a superman after my parents came to Guangzhou. At the same time, I worked for more than ten divisions, worked on Didi, worked as a Taobao model, distributed flyers, and wrote articles to earn royalties…
But no matter how much money I make, I always feel like I don’t have enough money. There are inexplicable expenses every day. For example, recently my father stopped the elevator because he was impatient while waiting for the elevator to be repaired.The display screen was broken by the hammer and lost 950 yuan;
My mother put the rice cooker on the gas stove and boiled it in the electric kettle. When it was boiled, she had to replace it with a new one, which cost money.
Mother knocked on the door lock with a spatula, and asked for money for a new lock;
Recently, a 5 or 6-year-old child came to me and said that the old man picked up the one dollar she dropped on the ground. I quickly returned it to others and explained that the old man was demented for a long time. , so I thought the money that fell on the ground was my own.
I really want to cry with laughter!
When the elderly get lost, you have only one choice
Caring for the elderly with dementia is not only financial, physical, but also mentally stressful enough to make you crash 10,000 times.
The biggest fear of the elderly with dementia is getting lost.
Once I took them out to talk with clients, and before the talk was over, my dad slipped away. Even with a positioning watch on, I couldn’t find anyone, because a demented old man couldn’t answer the phone.
I was so anxious that I wanted to cry so I could only call the police, and the police uncle used his heavenly eyes to get him back.
Mom loses it more often. The last time I saw a doctor in the hospital, I went to pay the fee, and she went straight out to get on a bus as soon as she turned her back. I guess the driver saw that she was too old and didn’t ask her for the fare, so she sat all the way to Foshan.
After calling the police, the police found her on the bus only after they dispatched Tianyan, so I drove to Foshan to pick her up again.
I can’t even remember how many times I called the police. The security guards in the community are used to seeing the second old man get lost. Sometimes he will send his mother directly back, and he will also be there at the same time. When I walked past the gate, I thought to myself what the hell was wrong with the two “living treasures”.
Since my parents came to Guangzhou, I have never slept before 2 pm because the dementia old man will smash your time into pieces and I can only start work when they are all asleep .
Woke up again at 6am to work and only slept 4 hours a day. The reporter from Guangdong TV station who came to interview me said: No matter how tired I am at work, I still have time off work, but you work overtime 7*24 hours without any rest time.
Just so I lost 18 pounds, the original round face became a melon face, and the small body used to be 88 pounds, but now it has dropped to 70 pounds, and I have become a paper man.
So I had to compromise, suspend my business, put my dreams aside, and find a job to earn the old man’s medical bills.
Traveling is like being grilled on fire
However, it can be difficult to do both at work.
Woke up at 6 in the morning to make dinner, and came back at night to find that the old man did not remember to eat by himself.
Let’s have someone deliver food at noon. Dad often goes out and locks his mother at home, so the food can’t be delivered.
Afterwards, I could only give the keys of my house to the food delivery shop, and repeatedly promised that he would not be responsible for losing things-Because the most expensive things in my house are these two “living treasures”< /strong>.
I am also afraid of traveling. Once I was on a business trip in Foshan, my mother fell in the community and no one dared to help me because everyone was afraid of being corrupted.
In the end, the property owner helped me to carry it home, but I negotiated in Foshan and turned my phone to mute. Later, I hurried back after I learned about it.
△The property of the community sends the fallen mother home
Going to Beijing on a business trip is more like roasting on fire. I only have to ask my colleagues to help me go home to buy food and medicine for the elderly, and I don’t dare to delay. Even if I buy a midnight flight the next day, I have to go back. rush.
I am afraid that I will come back late, the elderly will have no food at home, and I am even more afraid that they will pierce the sky…
Even the doctor in charge of Er Lao couldn’t stand it and advised me to give up. He said:
“It’s very hard to take care of the elderly with dementia. We have seen too many doctors, not to mention that you have two in your family. Now the nursing homes are very good, let’s send them to nursing homes, I’m afraid of you will be dragged down.”
But the moment I picked them up in Guangzhou, I was ready to fight the world.
Whether tomorrow is rich or poor, as long as I still have a bowl of rice, I will give them half of it.
I’ve always felt that the best nursing home is not home.
The prejudice and misunderstanding of public opinion test humanity more
As the family members of two “Su Daqiang”, you will not only be tested by personal filial piety, ability and money, but also by the misunderstanding and prejudice of public opinion.
The public knows very little about this disease.
My mother often gets lost, and the security guards in the community sometimes impatiently go to help you adjust the surveillance and find someone, and some idlers who have nothing to do when they have enough to eat will ask me, why are your parents so old? You look so small?
And the owner of the snack bar will say, I don’t want to live so old, everyone hates it, and I die early and get rid of it early.
More ridicule me, are you tired? I look tired when I look at you.
Every time I meet this kind of person, I will roll his eyes: “I’m not tired from singing, but your back hurts when you watch.”
Dad is often dismissed for smoking in the elevator. Even if I apologize to the owner group and ask him not to take the elevator, the owner will think that the old man is disturbing his life.
Because other neighbors’ dogs urinate in the corridor, the neighbors will also misunderstand whether it is the father who did it.
Some people asked: “Why don’t you ask someone to take care of you, why don’t you send it to a nursing home? You can see that my mother sent it to a good one. The elderly are very dangerous at home, and it is better to find someone to take care of them. “
All stand up and talk without backache.
Ask someone? I want it too! No money!
Sent to a nursing home, I will ask you if you are sick and do you want your family to send you to a nursing home to die alone?
In short, society can tolerate children, but it is difficult to be lenient to the elderly, and most of them are harsh.
Don’t ask me if I’m worth it, I’m not Fan Shengmei or Su Mingyu, I take this responsibility voluntarily, because my parents are here and my home is here.
I always have only one belief in my heart:
No matter how difficult the road is, I will walk with you.
My home is your paradise.
You’re here, it’s great!
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