The hit TV series “The World” ushered in the finale, and the trivial daily life of the Zhou family and the turbulence of fate have come to an end.
The fate of the little people is accompanied by the torrent of the times, which always makes people sigh that the world is impermanent. The joys and sorrows of the little people, along with the story, can always make people see themselves in the play.
The most impressive thing to many people is Zhou Bingkun, the “old pimple” of the Zhou family. As the “most unpromising” youngest son in the family, he has been performing inferiority and transcendence in the first half of his life.
Born in an ordinary working family, my brother and sister are good young people who responded to the call of the country and went to the countryside. Zhou Bingkun was the only one who could only stay by his mother’s side and live an ordinary life in a soy sauce factory. life.
(Source: iQIYI Video)
He knew from a young age that although he was raised by one father and one mother, he was far inferior to his older brothers and sisters.
But whenever he feels bad about himself, his mother gently encourages him:
This is called each has their own strengths. You are filial, and you are better than both of them. Mom is going out now, and her face is always bright.
(Source: iQIYI Video)
Father also told him when he denied himself and felt that he was not good enough:
Hundreds of good and filial piety come first. From this perspective, among the three children, Bingkun, you are the best.
That earnest and affirmative look is really very healing.
It not only warmed Bingkun, who had low self-esteem, but also cured countless honest and filial “stupid children” in front of the screen.
(Source: iQIYI Video)
Although Zhou Bingkun is not as good as her elder brothers and sisters, she has always been diligent and enthusiastic, full of positive hopes for life, and manages her own life well.
The youngest child in the family will always face the inferiority complex that his elder brother and sister are older than him and give priority to success and fame, and Zhou Bingkun is no exception.
But at that time, the strength that supported him to go on was the encouragement and approval of his parents, which made him feel from the inside out that we were working in different fields, and others were good, so I didn’t Difference.
But all the changes happened in a reunion Spring Festival.
My father, who rarely went out to pay New Year’s greetings, took his three children to visit his neighbor’s house that year.
Neighbors praised Zhou’s family for having two college students who were admitted to Peking University, and envied that his elder brother married the provincial governor’s daughter and his elder sister married a famous poet.
Under the brilliance of her elder brothers and sisters, Bingkun felt like a wretch.
Under such disparity, Zhou Bingkun’s inferiority complex was aroused again.
(Source: iQIYI Video)
What’s even more terrifying is that at the train station where my father was leaving, my father said the most poignant sentence in a hurry:
Even if there is no family matter to hinder you, can you be admitted to the university, which time is your grade not the last?
Although the father recognizes the young son very much, because of this quarrel, the father and son have not spoken a word for several years.
(Source: iQIYI Video)
From then on, Zhou Bingkun fell into obsession, and he resigned from the soy sauce factory to start a business.
Responsible for managing the restaurants and bookstores under the publishing house, and the business is booming. He alone makes more money than his brothers and sisters combined.
However, he could not see his own ability, and he only wanted to make a profit for the publishing house in exchange for a stable career editor. He believes that the career is compiled in the eyes of his father, which is the proof of success.
He thought he would dare to write to his father after he got the iron rice bowl, but he still felt that he was not satisfied with his father and was afraid to contact him.
Finally, on the night when father retired and returned to his hometown, father and son resolved their differences. Father said, isn’t what I said true, your brother and sister are excellent!
Zhou Bingkun cried and shouted: Should the truth be told? Have you ever thought that I am the most unpromising child born to a parent, how uncomfortable it is!
(Source: iQIYI Video)
Father and son both quarreled in a state of collapse until the father said:
You are the most satisfying of our three children.
(Source: iQIYI Video)
Zhou Bingkun finally let go. In fact, he always wanted to write a letter to his father, but he just wanted to wait for his achievements so that his father would recognize him.
It was also after that night of reconciliation that Zhou Bingkun finally surpassed his inferiority complex, embraced his own life, and found his true value.
Many people were heartbroken when they saw this scene, as if they saw their relationship with their parents.
How many people, like Zhou Bingkun, want to be recognized by their parents once.
We tried our best and tried our best to get results, but in the eyes of our parents we saw a hint of “you still don’t satisfy me”.
I know this very well myself.
I published my first book the year before, and the whole circle of friends cheered and proud of me. But only my parents never mentioned it to me once, let alone recognized and encouraged.
I should have enjoyed the highlights of my life, but I feel extremely inferior. I always feel that I am not good enough and that my writing is not good enough.
A lot of people don’t understand me, and so many people recognize you, why are you obsessed with your parents’ opinions?
Because the opinions of our parents mean our attitude towards ourselves.
There is a term in psychology called “mirror reflection”, which means that the attitude of parents is like a mirror, and we need to judge whether we are good enough from this mirror.
If our parents are consistently negative and indifferent, we feel like we are doing something wrong. We feel great when our parents are always positive and encouraging.
Psychologist William James once said:
The deepest human need is the desire for admiration from others, which distinguishes humans from animals.
Others, often referring to parents.
Parents’ attitude toward us is internalized into our attitude toward ourselves.
Children who have not been approved by their parents have always lived a “negative villain” in their hearts, reminding you that they are not satisfactory.
Maybe we are not as lucky as Zhou Bingkun, to have a mother who actively encourages us and to reconcile with my father.
(Source: iQIYI Video)
Maybe we will never get the words “you are my pride” from our parents all our lives.
What should we do if we can never wait?
01
Going back to my parents’ past
Standing on the parents’ standpoint, we may be able to understand, according to the situation they are in, according to the education they received, and according to the background of their times, we may be able to understand their true thoughts.
On the night when Zhou Bingkun reconciled with his father, his father expressed his embarrassment: My two children are so good, don’t they need my praise? My only fault is that I did not Just consider your feelings.
(Source: iQIYI Video)
Parents are a generation that has never been praised, and it is naturally difficult for them to say things to praise their children.
02
Be Your Own Parent
The reason why we are obsessed with the approval of our parents is because we have internalized the evaluation of our parents. In the final analysis, we are afraid of approving ourselves.
When we realize this, we can try to recognize ourselves as our own parents.
Talk to the inner “negative villain” and tell him “You are wrong, I slowly discovered my strengths, and I like myself more and more”.
As in “Silent Confession”:
How many people spend their entire lives trying to get rid of the expectations of others and find their true self.
Signs
Set
Life is great,
Sometimes there is no one to speak to.
Dear you,
Is there a moment of helplessness and confusion?
Facing a relationship that doesn’t know how to advance or retreat,
Or stuck in a bad relationship,
Or suffer from unspeakable health problems…
Now you can let go of your anxiety and restlessness
Tell Zhimei all these unpleasant messages by private message
Just leave a message to the background (specify: Confidence column)
Me and my friends
I would like to be your worry-relieving grocery store.
Content Production