The Winter Olympics are over, the athletes have finished their journey, and we, as “little nervous spectators”, finally breathed a sigh of relief.
My heart beats wildly with the athletes every time I watch a game. How many times have I been moved by the spirit of their dedication and hard work.
What we want to know in front of the TV screen is how the big hearts of these people with the strongest pressure resistance on the surface are made?
The competition for medals in the Olympics is not a competition between “60-point level” and “90-point level”. It’s a competition between “99.8 points player” and “99.9 point player”.
There is very little difference in skills and abilities, and no game is easy to win. If you are a master, a strong psychological quality is particularly important.
We ordinary people, although we have not experienced such high-profile moments as the Olympic Games. But in everyone’s life, there are many “Olympic moments” of their own.
In those moments, we are stressed, we fear failure, we have nowhere to vent, and we lose sleep.
There was such a piece of news two days ago that executives of well-known companies were detained for four months because of excessive pressure.
We cannot ignore stress, let alone become slaves to our emotions and let them develop.
We are taught from childhood that “pressure is motivation”, indeed, in many cases, pressure will stimulate us and give us the power to change for the better.
But if we feel like we’re failing if we don’t do it, that stress can turn into negative energy.
Most of us have probably turned stress into anxiety. So where does our stress come from?
1
The difference between “ideal self” and “real self”
Each of us has an ideal self within us. Just like our childhood fantasies about becoming scientists and superhumans, we expect ourselves to be different and have extraordinary abilities.
If our ideal self is similar to reality, our stress will not be high.
However, if our expectations of ourselves are too ideal and the gap with reality is large, a “pressure gap” is formed.
Faced with such pressure, we may feel that we are not good enough, and we may procrastinate because we are afraid of the pressure, or simply use the mobile phone and a big meal to escape the pressure.
2
“I’m not good enough” internalized psychology
If our parents’ education from childhood is affirmative, full of motivation and warmth, and positive enough, then our heart will form a cognition of “I am good enough”.
When faced with stress, we have a little self-confidence in our minds, it tells us that we work hard for ourselves, and that you are satisfied enough with yourself, whether you succeed or not.
However, if our parents keep demanding high demands on us and love to attack us, then the motive of our efforts becomes “satisfying others”, and there will be a strict and critical child in our minds. Man, intensify our stress.
When faced with pressure, our heart is: Effort is for others to see, I am afraid that I can’t do it well, even if I do it well, I won’t be recognized, I can’t convert pressure into motivation .
3
Overly results-focused
We equate the results with a judgment on ourselves, thinking that poor test scores prove that we are not smart enough, work performance is poor to prove that we are not competent, and that poor relationships prove that we are not likable.
Because of the fear that we are not good enough and the bad outcome, we are afraid to act in the face of pressure.
In those stressful moments, we don’t think “I’m fine until now,” but “what if I don’t do well.”
We should be focused and put our energy into the matter itself, but instead we use it in self-doubt, and as a result, it is naturally difficult to perform at a normal level.
Cultivating a strong heart and practicing good mental quality is not only for competitions and exams, but also for saving energy and reducing internal friction.
What we call psychological quality is a concept close to what is called “psychological capital” in psychology. It can be understood in layman’s terms as our inner “bank”.
When there is enough money in the “mental bank”, the ability to deal with crises will be stronger. When money is low, it is easy to worry about gains and losses.
Psychological capital is related to these four determinants: hope, self-efficacy, mental toughness, optimism; correspondingly, we can improve ourselves in these four areas psychological capital.
1
Accept failure without fear of failure
Our frog princess Gu Ailing, although only 18 years old, has a strong heart that must be admired.
February 15th in the women’s freestyle skiing women’s slope obstacle course final, the second jump fell to the ground and made an obvious mistake.
But in the third jump, she was not affected by the first two jumps, and she jumped with a high score and won the silver medal.
Not being held back by the emotion of failure, not immersed in annoyance, and quickly adjust the state to enter the next challenge. This kind of emotional resilience is worth learning.
The real strong person is not not failing, but being able to accept his own failure calmly and not afraid of failure.
2
Self-Affirmation, Internalized Positive Self
National table tennis veteran Ma Long also missed the World Table Tennis Championships final for six consecutive years due to psychological factors.
Malone once broke down and cried because of a loss: Why should I play table tennis, if I didn’t play table tennis, it wouldn’t be so painful.
We only saw that Ma Long, who had lost and cried, became the current “hexagonal warrior”, but we did not see that his heart collapsed and rebuilt many times, and cultivated from the ruins to the Great Wall the process of.
One of the tricks he uses is “Thinking“, saying to himself before and during the game: Take it easy, it’s okay, be brave.
(Source: CCTTV.COM)
In our hearts, there lives a “third party” who examines and evaluates us. Many people’s inner villains are harsh and negative.
The more critical our inner selves are, the more error-prone we are. Give yourself more positive encouragement and believe in “the power of belief” to relieve stress.
3
Deliberate practice to improve skills
People’s sense of security comes from familiarity, which means that the more prepared we are and the more we understand the process, the more at ease we feel.
So, our confidence comes fromsufficient preparation and repeated deliberate practice.
You can imagine every detail of what is about to happen in your mind, plus a lot of practice to make yourself have a target and know what to do.
I hope you and I can both have a strong heart, and even if not, I hope you and I have the courage to self-affirmation.
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