I wonder if you have seen this photo:
(Image source: Internet)
This is a photo that appeared in Time magazine in the United States, titled “The Most Beautiful Suicide.”
The figure above is calm, lying in a pile of crumpled steel, with her feet crossed at her ankles, her left hand gloved across her chest, clutching her pearl necklace .
But what many people don’t know is that this is not a posed photo, but a real suicide by jumping off a building.
The heroine in the photo is Evelyn McHale, a New York-based bookkeeper at a bank. She has a fiancé who has just graduated.
On April 30, 1947, Evelyn took the train to visit her fiancé, returned to New York the next morning, and bought a ticket to the Astronomical Observatory on the 86th floor of the Empire State Building , jumped to his death from there.
Things are so sudden that security guards just 10 feet away can’t react.
(Observation Deck, 86th Floor, Empire State Building)
Later among her belongings, her suicide note was found:
“I don’t want anyone to see any part of me. Can you destroy my body with cremation? I beg you and my family not to hold a funeral and memorial for me.< /p>
My fiancé asked me to marry him in June, but I don’t think I’ll be a good wife. He would be much better without me. “
The fact that no one sees her body may never happen.
A photography student named Robert Wells ran across the street to snap this photo just minutes after her body landed in a parked limousine. Immortal photos.
Evelyn grew up in a single-parent household with her depressive mother. We can only guess from the contents of the suicide note that she may have a tendency to depression, but All this has been unconfirmed.
In China, there is a very strange phenomenon called tabooing diseases and avoiding doctors. People will feel that getting sick is a very shameful thing.
Like my eldest brother, who had a fever, he ran to a hut to work by himself, worried that his coughing and other conditions would affect us.
The problem of colds and fever is more than that of mental illness.
A survey has shown that most people are reluctant to tell their friends and family about their depression.
No matter how serious the situation is, many people want to get through it on their own.
Similarly, death is a secret thing for Chinese people.
When two things meet and commit suicide due to depression, it becomes even more secretive.
All of this is happening quietly, and many people can’t even notice it in their lives – why are people who are so happy all of a sudden suddenly gone.
It seems to us that they are unhappy because of a brokenhearted relationship, because of stress, or because of some reason, and then think of a way to do something and they will be happy.
But many people don’t know:
For people with depression, it is not the lack of motivation, the most painful thing for them is the loss of energy.
“It’s not that we don’t know what depression is about; it’s not that we don’t know that we do something to be happy. But I don’t want to move.” A former depression patient A friend told me so.
No one wants to be understood.
But when the environment doesn’t understand them, they have to figure it out for themselves.
(Image source: “Chronicle” interview with Cui Yongyuan on depression)
Hopkins’ Adam Kaplin concluded after researching suicidal groups: “In factPeople who are suicidal because of depression don’t want their worse state to affect others, so they are more inclined to destroy themselves. ”
And death becomes their way of solving problems.
In 2016, there was a historical genius and 18-year-old senior high school student Lin Jiawen who published two historical works. He bid farewell to the night and the world by falling from a building. And six months ago, he suffered from depression.
(Photo source: Internet, Lin Jiawen in front of his bookcase)
Lin Jiawen did her homework, took her medicine, and sent a final e-mail to a friend, writing: “The future is too unattractive to me. Just for the mundane life. I can imagine everything I can strive for, and I have long recognized the boundaries that I can never transcend…”
“The final departure is not only an emotional solution to depression and loneliness, but also a disguised expression of the results of my rational thinking.” Lin Jiawen said.
Although many school suicide cases are now covered up, with the popularity of the Internet, more and more incidents of children committing suicide due to depression have been exposed.
Some time ago, a 14-year-old middle school student in Wuhan jumped down from the upstairs and died on the spot because his mother beat him in public.
(Image source: Internet)
People who choose to jump from the building are getting younger and younger than those who choose other methods.
Young people are prone to anger, impulsiveness, irritability, and are more likely to make unimaginable decisions when they are emotional.
At that moment, they will feel that jumping off the building to die is the only right decision.
When these people choose to jump off the building, the matter of suicide is no longer a secret, and the final picture will be presented. All that is done is that they are sending information to the outside world.
Those who choose to jump from a building desire to be seen (Beautrais, 2007).
Many voices that are suppressed in the bottom of my heart can only be turned into a self-destructive action and bid farewell to this world.
Others would argue that jumping off a building is painless.
This is not the case.
Psychologically, it is easy to feel regret the moment you jump out, and every minute and every second of your whereabouts may be torture;
Physically, once other external factors interfere, resulting in no direct fall to death, the subsequent fractures, paraplegia, permanent disability, etc., will accompany the whole life.
What’s more, even if you are lucky enough to fall to your death, have you ever imagined the picture of the blood flowing and the brain bursting?
Not everyone is Evelyn to take such beautiful photos.
At the same time, this will also cause psychological shadows to many witnesses, and it is also easy to hurt passers-by. (Beautrais, 2007; National Institute for Mental Health, 2006; Pirkis, 2013).
Even if you can’t feel the regret, but every family member, friend, and passerby around you need to help you bear this pain.
In addition, more and more suicides by jumping off buildings are now related to the environment in which we live.
We live in an environment surrounded by high-rise buildings. Some people may not think well, but when the idea of ”suicide” appears in their minds, all they can think about is the nearest Take material.
If there is nothing around, tall buildings are their only option.
Whether it is you or the people around you, if there is a sign, please do not ignore it.
WHO summarizes and summarizes the situations that suicidal persons are prone to, which is called six changes and three cares:
“Six changes” refers to changes in temperament, behavior, spending money, speech, body, and environment.
Temperament change: people who used to be shy and shy become domineering, people who used to be sunny and cheerful become lonely and shy;
behavioral change: no guilt about doing what you shouldn’t do, or not doing what you should;
Spend money to change: Whether it’s for others or for yourself, all money is spent. Use money to explain the relationship with the world and certain people.
Speech Change: Four Stages:
Phase 1: Always talk about the meaning and value of life, and try to find the reason why you live from a certain book or a certain point of view, if you can’t find it, you feel like you’re damned;
Phase II: Reasons for Death, Value of Death, Rituals, Costs, and Procedures;
Stage 3: How to Die? Ask about the method of suicide, search online, what medicine to take, how many pills to take, etc.;
Stage 4: The word “death” is often mentioned. For example, when the weather is cold, they will complain that they “frozen to death.”
Body changes: Suicidal thoughts can occur in people with acute or chronic serious illness;
Environmental changes: natural and man-made disasters, family destruction and death, the stronger the person, the more at risk of suicide. Because of their strength, they are less likely to receive care, concern, and support.
“Three trustees”: trustee, trustee, trustee.
A trustee: a sudden order, request or entrustment to relatives and friends to strengthen the care of someone;
Entrustment: suddenly requesting or entrusting others to perform or complete a major event of one’s own;
Carrying things: suddenly packing important cultural relics, playthings or pets around them, asking or entrusting others to take care or protection on their behalf.
In these situations, what can we do?
If he must experience death, suggest taking him bungee jumping first.
Clinical psychologist Richard McKeon said: “Once we choose the option of dying for a longer period of time, we may regret it and ultimately choose to ask for help to survive.”
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Bungee jumping, is to let us simulate a similar environment to see our state at that time.
I saw such a case on Zhihu: A girl said that in order to experience the feeling of death, she chose to go bungee jumping first. The moment she took a step, she had already begun to regret it.
The feeling of being completely out of control made her fear from the bottom of her heart.
This experience also made her realize that she does not really want to die, but expects more from life.
Interestingly, her depression also started to improve around this time.
Help them express their grief.
Sigmund Freud wrote an essay, “Unable to Grieve,” Defense against grief leads to depression, and if you allow yourself to grieve, you won’t be depressed.
As mentioned above, in fact, many times depressed patients do not have a suitable way to express their emotions. When the environment does not allow it, they will suppress this emotion in their hearts, and over time , became a scumbag.
At this time, if there is an environment for them to openly discuss the things in their hearts and vent their sadness and anger to their heart’s content, it is actually a healing process for them .
Therefore, various depression and suicide mutual aid groups have emerged at the historic moment, both domestically and abroad.
However, if you have such a friend by your side, all you can do is to help him build a comfortable social circle, relaxed and at ease.
Maybe it’s enough for him to have you with him.
Need a counselor.
Zhang Jin mentioned in “Crossover” that suicide of depressed patients often occurs at the stage of worsening from mild to moderate, and from severe to moderate improvement. Severe patients often have a blank brain, lack of physical strength, and lack of suicidal ability;
However, once the drug takes effect, the inhibition of the patient’s brain is first released (motivation), but the improvement of mood is a week behind (suicidal ideation is still there), and suicide often occurs during this period. stage occurs.
So, some people, after receiving treatment and getting better, chose to commit suicide, which is shocking.
Suicide by jumping off buildings due to depression is not uncommon, including some celebrities. Zhang Guorong, Chen Baolian, etc.
In fact, at this time, the intervention of a professional psychological counselor is a great help for everyone suffering from depression.
The article is reproduced from the public account Zhaode Psychology