After graduating in June, Nanjing female college student Li Mouyue went to Xishuangbanna, Yunnan in July, and then lost contact.
She was found, unfortunately…too late.
On August 4, Menghai police issued a notice saying that her body was found on August 3. According to the investigation, her boyfriend Hong gathered two brothers, lured her to the outskirts of a small county in Yunnan, and killed and buried the body…
Really, so cruel.
(Source: Weibo)
As soon as the truth came out, there were a lot of comments like “Why is the last suspect in this recent case either her husband or her boyfriend?” Indeed, since Hangzhou Xu Mouli killed his wife, Ms. Lai, the Not long ago.
In the past month, I have seen too many cases of partner killings, domestic violence, like a virus:
The picture is taken from Weibo
The picture is taken from Weibo
The picture is taken from Weibo
The picture is taken from Weibo
The picture is taken from Weibo
The picture is taken from Weibo
After these things happened, many girls became a little afraid of men and wanted to keep a distance. Some girls may also worry about themselves or their sisters who are in love. After all, once it happens, it may be It’s too late.
So, how do we identify potential “murderers” when in a relationship?
(Source: Yokai Manager)
First, murder a spouse or partner, is the most serious kind of intimate relationship violence (Intimate partner violence, IPV), a type of domestic violence, often accompanied by other violent controls.
So for the vast majority of women, the most fundamental thing is to prevent domestic violence.
People with the following characteristics are at greater risk of domestic violence[1-4], but not everyone with these characteristics is prone to violence, please don’t misunderstand :
1. History of violence
Have a history of domestic violence against a partner, bullying classmates at school, attacking strangers, and cruelty to animals.
For example, in “Jiang Ge’s Case”, Chen Shifeng, the murderer of his girlfriend’s domestic violence, killed Jiang Ge, who was protecting his friend.
In addition to the girlfriend who said he would punch and kick, the ex-girlfriend also said that he would kick in the stomach when he had a conflict, and his schoolmates said that he had been violent before.
(Source: Xinhuanet)
2. Befriend someone who is violent in school[5,6]
Being friends with violent people at a young age is not only affected by the violent behavior of friends, but also because people with violent tendencies like to choose friends with similar characteristics.
3. Childhood abuse or witness to domestic violence, parents with antisocial behavior[7,8]
Experienced domestic violence in childhood may make children mistaken for family members, and violence can be used to communicate or solve problems; it may also affect children’s mental health, making it difficult for them to regulate their emotions, even developed into aggression.
Parents’ antisocial behavior may also have a subtle influence on children, making them prone to violence.
But by no means is it necessary to grow up in such a home with violent tendencies. If you are worried, you can ask your partner what he thinks about domestic violence when chatting with your partner. If the other party thinks “wife beating” or “child beating” doesn’t matter, and even secretly reveals that “there is a reason for the incident”, then you should be vigilant.
4. Lack of Conscience
Lack of remorse and self-blame, often indifference or rationalization of own behavior after hurting others.
Disloyal, repeating lies, often deceiving others for their own benefit or pleasure.
Attitudes to accept violence and gender inequality.
Always irresponsible, such as not being able to hold on to or stable work, academic performance below ability level, disregard for rules, inability to restrain oneself even for therapeutic purposes (e.g. exercise, diet), personal life And careers have no goals and no maintenance responsibilities.
For example, in the case of a Chinese pregnant woman falling off a cliff in Thailand, the man was unemployed and addicted to gambling.
In the case of Shanghai murdering his wife and hiding a body in a refrigerator, the murderer Zhu Xiaodong always changed girlfriends and cheated frequently.
(Source: Red Star News, The Paper)
5. Low Extraversion
Lack of enthusiasm for life, no hobbies. Do not care, do not trust friends or family, will take the initiative to alienate family and friends.
6. Self-centeredness, lack of empathy, extremes
Low tolerance or understanding of different viewpoints and lifestyles, and a strong desire to control.
For example, when watching movies, short films, and news, even if there are relatively moving clips, these people are hardly touched.
Have no empathy for those unfortunate people whose values are inconsistent or flawed with their own.
Impatient with weaklings, crying toddlers, and small animals.
extremely nice to you when in a relationship, even if you don’t have a deep relationship.
For example, a woman in Henan who was paralyzed by jumping off a building from domestic violence once said that her husband was very considerate to her before marriage, and “there is no sign of harming me”.
(Image source: Vortex Video)
But in fact, “the woman ran downstairs without answering the phone and stayed there until the early morning”, which has revealed a strong paranoia. This kind of persistent “trying” to move the other party in his own way is completely based on his own needs and does not really consider the other party.
7. Drug or alcohol abuse,
People who drink regularly and start having this habit at a young age may become uncontrollable and domestic violence after drinking, and drug users may also be more prone to domestic violence [9] , 10].
Many partner murders actually precede the crime.
Many people think domestic violence is just punching and kicking, but it’s not just that.
Domestic violence generally falls into four broad categories: emotional abuse, financial abuse, physical abuse, and sexual abuse.
First look at Emotional Abuse.
He is always critical or abusive to you, even demeaning you in front of others.
He is always critical of your family or friends and/or makes it difficult for you to see or talk to them alone.
He constantly checks your phone calls, chats, emails.
Your needs are ignored or ignored.
You don’t have the option to really make decisions, and he’s often the one who has the final say in your relationship.
He’s moody and prone to tantrums, and you’ll feel like walking on thin ice by spending time figuring out his mood.
The other party is suspicious and jealous and often accuses you of having an affair.
Source: Zhanku Hailuo
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