01
Since ancient times, we have had such a tradition – more children, more blessings.
Some people are particularly puzzled, why don’t they say “more women, more blessings” instead of “more sons, more blessings”? Because traditional concepts are patriarchal.
In an agricultural society, because farming and reading are dominated by men, countless families are proud of having multiple sons. It is believed thatthe more labor force is involved in farming, the more prosperous the family will be. If there are more sons who study, the fate of the family may change.
Transitioning from an agricultural society to an industrial society, and then to today’s information society, we find that,< strong>Families with sons are under increasing pressure. The previous concept of “more children, more blessings” has gradually faded away.
Nowadays, many young people do not want to have children. Even if some people are willing to have children, they will not be entangled in having a boy or a girl. There are even some people who would rather have a daughter than a boy.
In big cities, why do people become so resistant to “having a son”? Because the living pattern of the city has changed. At the same time, families with sons need to pay more material money.
This point, I believe the feelings of the post-60s and post-70s are particularly profound. Especially those born in the 70s are now facing the problem of “many sons and few blessings”.
02
Nowadays, why does the pressure rise sharply in families with sons?
In the final analysis, it is still related to these two points:The first is pension, and the second is marriage. Aging has intensified, and the threshold for marriage is getting higher and higher. The main body of responsibility is the “son”.
We often say “raising children for old age”, but rarely say “raising daughters for old age”, because< strong>The role of the son has “economic” responsibilities. They have to work hard to make money to support their parents and family.
Of course, if the son can earn money and support his parents, this is the best result. However,With the increasing social competition and the severe workplace environment, it seems that many young people are in the predicament of “unemployed after graduating from college”.
In the past“Raising children for old age” , it is very likely to become“care for children”. Most of today’s parents are not the happy people who are “raised”, but the difficult ones who support their sons, or even “grow old”.
This kind of difficulty is not only related to the pension in old age, but also related to the marriage of the son.
As we all know, the conditions for marriage and love are very high nowadays. Ordinary people basically lack one or two conditions, so no opposite sex will look up to them. The pressure on the young man to choose a mate is infinitely magnified.
The only ones who give them assistance and even clean up the mess are the parents born in the 60s or 70s.
03
< p data-track="19">There is a decoration master, Lao Zhang, who is almost 60 years old next door to the community, and he is still helping others with decoration, moving, walking up and down, and he is very tired.
Once, the homeowner asked Lao Zhang: “Lao Zhang, you are already very old, and you have been engaged in the decoration industry for ten or twenty years. , should have made a lot of money, why don’t you go back to your hometown and live a little relaxing life? “
After hearing what the owner said, Lao Zhang sighed, shook his head, and said: “Boss landlord, we are not as good as you imagined, if we are as rich as your locals, naturally we don’t have to worry about it. Now, my son is not married yet, he doesn’t have a house or a car, and I don’t work hard. According to his earning speed, when will he get married. “
I found out later that Lao Zhang’s son is now 29 years old, and he works six or seven thousand in his hometown’s provincial capital city He can’t save much money even after one year’s work, and the goal of buying a house is even far away for him, so as his father, Lao Zhang can only help others decorate everywhere. He has almost retired and is still working. Make money.
There are too many parents like Lao Zhang. Their wishes are very Simple, I just hope to earn a little more money for my son to buy a house for marriage, pension and so on, so I have no expectations.
Many people I will be wondering, if my son is not capable, he should not get married. Why do you have to work so hard as a parent?
I can only say, Raising a child at one hundred years old means worrying about ninety-nine years.As a parent, who doesn’t devote his life to his children without thinking about himself?
04
The post-60s and post-70s who have sons but no daughters will be more difficult in their later years.
The son is unemployed after graduating from university and cannot find a job. Buy time at work.
Even if the son finds a job, he will not be able to get married on time, and others will not marry them without a house or a car. Therefore,parents can only “empty out six wallets”, even took out the coffin book, to help their son start a family and start a business.
There is such a particularly “sad” case.
The parents of a family said to their son:“We don’t even have money for future burials Take it out. When we leave, if you can’t even pay for the cremation, then roll us up with a mat and throw it aside.”
These words made us outsiders feel terrified when we heard them. A family that was originally good, why did it have to come to this point? Why do some parents even have to pay for the last “burial money”?
The most realistic point is, If they don’t help their son, then their son will have to die alone without even a nest. So, as parents, how can they think about themselves?
It can only be said that the bottom families, even ordinary families born in the 60s and 70s, as well as their sons, are facing enormous pressure to provide for the aged and marriage pressure. Everything is cruel.
Text/Deer in Shushan