Mother-in-law giving daughter-in-law gold bars: the best mother-in-law relationship is not having to be as close as mother and daughter

Author: Supplements

To treat each other like mother and daughter,

It is the biggest problem with Chinese mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

Some time ago, there was a hot search. A man in Jilin Province filmed a video of his wife admiring gold bars:

Wife rubbed two gold bars, sniffed and kissed, and couldn’t put it down.

The man stated:

“My daughter-in-law is about to give birth, but my mother didn’t have time to wait for the confinement, so she gave her two 1,000-gram gold bars. The daughter-in-law was overjoyed to receive this gift. .

Holding gold bars all day, wiping it from morning to night, and didn’t care that my mother couldn’t take care of the confinement. “

Why am I talking about this? It is that I especially appreciate the way this mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along:

More money, less talk, and no interference.

The subtext of this mother-in-law giving gold bars is:

“Serving my daughter-in-law is very troublesome. If I don’t serve my daughter-in-law well, it may offend others and destroy the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, so I would rather give more money so that I don’t have to worry about it, and my daughter-in-law is also very happy. .”

The way this mother-in-law treats her daughter-in-law reminds me of a sentence:

“If the relationship between husband and wife is like the most elastic rubber band in the world, it seems to be able to be pulled apart, but it is pulled intimately and continuously;

The best relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, should be reversed, Although it cannot be broken,< strong>But be sure to pull it apart. ”

I am reminded of Shanghai writer “Anonymous” who also has such a mother-in-law.

When Anonymous met her mother-in-law for the first time, she was very nervous. Before going there, she asked her husband, “Would you like to help wash the dishes after dinner?”

In the end, my husband said: “No, you don’t wash at home, why are you running to pretend, my mother doesn’t care about that.”

During dinner that day, my husband asked my mother-in-law, “How are you feeling?”

Mother-in-law: “If you like it, I will be happy! If you like it, I will be happy!”

Anonymous thought, what kind of answer is this, reluctantly, not polite.

A few years later, Anonymous figured it out. The mother-in-law likes her son. The first time she sees how much she likes her daughter-in-law, it is good to respect her son’s choice.

It was later verified that because I was busy at work anonymously, I seldom took care of family affairs, so I hired part-time workers.

Other relatives fanned the flames with their mother-in-law and said, “They are spending too much money like this, and they can’t cook their meals. What if they have children in the future!”

Mother-in-law replied: “Oh, xx (my husband) doesn’t ring, it’s not my turn to talk shit, don’t worry too much, let them do it themselves.”

Ask her husband when she was pregnant anonymously: “Will my mother-in-law take care of the confinement?”

She knew that her mother-in-law was not very good at cooking, and her father-in-law cooked food at home, so she was a little worried.

In the end, my husband said: “Let’s solve it by ourselves, this is our two children.” Anonymous think about it too.

When I was six or seven months pregnant, I went to my mother-in-law’s house for dinner anonymously, and my mother-in-law suddenly asked, “Are you going to hire a confinement sister-in-law or a confinement club? The two of you can’t get it. I think it’s more convenient to stay in the confinement club. People say that if you can’t book a good room late, I’ll reimburse you if you book it.”

Anonymous hurriedly said, “No, no, we have our own money.”

Mother-in-law immediately said, “No, I can’t do anything, I have to pay for it!”

After giving birth anonymously, I added four confinement nanny to the confinement club. During the whole pregnancy, there was no conflict at all, and I was very happy.

Once, a relative of my mother-in-law out of town said that their child was on summer vacation and wanted to come to Shanghai to play and live for half a month.

While anonymously having dinner at my mother-in-law’s house, my parents-in-law were discussing how to arrange it.

Considering that my mother-in-law’s house is not very big, I told my mother-in-law anonymously: “Our house is bigger, let them live in our house.”

The mother-in-law immediately said: “No, no, our relatives here are no more than those of your generation (it doesn’t matter). They are a couple with little tricks (children). , what kind of a place to live in your place, and it is not convenient for you to have a big man in the family. I will let them come to my house for a few days, take them around the Bund, and then book a hotel for them. You take care of you, when the time comes Just come out for a meal…”

Being so respected by my mother-in-law, it warms my heart to be anonymous.

Anonymous didn’t like this mother-in-law very much at first, thinking she was impersonal, but gradually I liked it, and then I liked it more and more, and now I feel that it is really cool to have such a mother-in-law,


“After so many years, my mother-in-law and I have not been very close, and have always been polite. She respects me very much, and I respect her very much. She never interferes with me, and I never She is not required.

My mother-in-law’s concept is that between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, there is no need to force each other as mother and daughter.

She said that when you retire, you will enjoy happiness. Don’t be thankful. If you have time to dance square dance and play mahjong, you will be less concerned about children.

But it doesn’t matter if we do not care, she never refuses when we really need her.

For example, one summer vacation, my husband and I were too busy with work, and we wanted her to take care of the children, so her words changed again: son and daughter-in-law, we must help. “

So Anonymous likes this kind of mother-in-law relationship: “It means that you don’t have to force each other to be like mother and daughter.”

The biggest problem with Chinese-style mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, is forcing each other as mother and daughter.

If a daughter-in-law treats her mother-in-law as her own mother, there will be two major problems.

One ​​is that it is too invisible.

As Big V Ganbei said, “Mom, I’m on a business trip, help me wash the sheets.”

When she came back from a two-day business trip, she found that the sheets were still in the dirty laundry bucket, the child’s urine stains were dizzy, and there was a smell of urine, “Mom, what are you doing? I haven’t washed it yet, it stinks.”

Mother-in-law is busy feeding the child. After hearing this, she replied angrily: “Where am I free? Besides, I’m not the nanny at home.”

The second is high expectations.

If you treat your mother-in-law as your own mother, you will have high expectations for some things, such as thinking when you are pregnant:

“My mother-in-law will definitely help me take care of the baby, so I go to work after the baby is born.”

But if your mother-in-law doesn’t help you take care of the children, you will feel a great sense of loss,

“How could she treat me like this? If my mother was in Shanghai, she would definitely help me with the baby.”

As soon as there are many such things, a seed of contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is planted in your heart.

If a mother-in-law treats her daughter-in-law as her own daughter, there will also be three major problems.

One ​​is too intimate.

As Ganbei said: “I don’t have the habit of folding quilts in the morning, my mother-in-law scolds me for 20 minutes, and said that she treats me as her own daughter. The one who taught me to do housework…”

Second, it is too invisible.

For example, when you visit your son’s house and see that your daughter-in-law has bought a set of cosmetics, you feel that your skin is too dry, so you unscrew the cosmetic and apply it. When the daughter-in-law comes back, she sees that there is a lot of makeup missing. , came to ask you: “Mom, do you use cosmetics?”

You are also angry: “It’s all a family, what’s wrong with using your makeup?”

Third, expectations are too high.

How did your biological daughter treat you? If you want your daughter-in-law to treat you like this, you will probably be disappointed. “It’s not half as good as my daughter-in-law.”

So over time, a seed of conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is planted in your heart.

Since the day you got married,Many people will tell you:“A good mother-in-law relationship,< strong>You should treat each other as your own mother and daughter.”

However, most of the conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in the world begin because they love each other too much as mother and daughter.

It is obviously not my own mother, so I have to be invisible like my mother-in-law,

“Mom, wash the sheets.”

“Mom, this dish is too salty.”

“What’s wrong with the family using you to order?”

“Can’t I come in my son’s room?”

Obviously she’s not her own mother, so she has to use her mother’s standard to ask her mother-in-law,

“If I were my mother, I would have…”

“If I were my mother, I wouldn’t have…”

“If it were my daughter, I would definitely…”

“If it were my daughter, I would not…”

I especially like a passage from “Ganbei”: Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are the best choice not to be mother and daughter.

Understanding this, many problems between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will be solved easily.

Mother-in-law is not a real mother, she is a stranger she only knew because of her husband, so you can’t have high expectations for her. If you don’t have high expectations, you won’t Disappointment will not complain.

“My mother-in-law doesn’t help me take care of my children, and doesn’t help me with laundry and cooking, which is a matter of course, and she is not my mother.

If she’s willing to help me with the kids, to help me with the laundry and cooking, then I’m earning a lot. “

Similarly, a daughter-in-law is not a biological daughter, but a stranger whom her son has only met, so she cannot have high expectations for her, let alone disappear with her like a biological daughter. Plus, so you won’t be disappointed or complained:

“I understand that she is not my own daughter, so naturally I won’t touch her things casually, and I won’t scold her at every turn.

And she is such a big living person, she is willing to call me mom, and she buys me things and stuffs red envelopes during the festivals, so I don’t want to be too happy,

Thinking about this, don’t you let go of many things? “

Between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, there is no need to kiss like mother and daughter, keep a certain distance, and do not hold each other too highexpectations, but the relationship will be better.

A mother-in-law and daughter-in-law who do not get along with each other as mothers and daughters,is the greatest blessing in a family.