Man suffers from AIDS for 8 years, but hides his girlfriend’s marriage. The dark side of love is hidden in the medical checklist!

Recently, Zhimei saw a piece of news and felt a chill behind her with just one glance.

According to the news report of People’s Daily Online, the cause of the incident is probably as follows[1]:

Li (female) and Jiang (male) established a romantic relationship after being introduced to each other. After getting engaged in November 2019, the two sides began to live together.

In April 2020, Li became pregnant; in June, both parties registered for marriage and went to a designated institution for a pre-marital examination on the same day.

(Source: People’s Daily Online)

At this time, Jiang had been suffering from AIDS for 8 years. The next day, when the results of the premarital examination came out, Jiang confessed at the doctor’s request, and only then did Li know that the person beside him had been suffering from AIDS for many years and had been taking medicine for a long time.

Although Jiang insisted that his AIDS was not in the infectious period and was unlikely to be transmitted to his wife and unborn baby, it was still difficult for Li to accept it.

(Source: People’s Daily Online)

After several inner struggles, Li finally decided to terminate the pregnancy and sued the Shanghai Minhang Court to revoke the marriage.

(Source: People’s Daily Online)

After reading the news, Zhimei felt really angry.

Because, deliberately hiding one’s illness from one’s partner, or even getting the other person pregnant, has caused more than one tragedy.

Ms. Yu from Qidong, Jiangsu is a premarital inspector at a maternal and child health care hospital. She could have lived an ordinary life like most people.

However, fate played a cruel joke on her as a premarital inspector.

Out of trust, she and her lover did not have a prenuptial checkup when they married, and she didn’t know until her lover became ill at the age of 33 that her lover concealed her family medical history .

(Source: “Dream Makeover”)

Hereditary ataxia is a neurological disorder that is familial and its symptoms are a bit like ALS.

Loss of muscle control can lead to progressive instability, lack of balance, slow movement, slurred speech, difficulty swallowing, and even eye movement. The eventual death from multiple organ failure is very painful.

In 1999, Ms. Yu’s lover fell ill and completely lost her ability to work. The burden of the family fell on her alone.

Up until her lover’s death in 2016, she worked to support her family during the day and cared for her seriously ill lover and son at night.

(Source: “Dream Makeover”)

From the broken faucet, ceiling, etc., it can be seen that in order to support the home, Ms. Yu lived very frugally.

(Source: “Dream Makeover”)

Despite the gloom of illness looming over the whole family, son Xiao Li is a great comfort to her.

Li is a very sensible, filial, and hard-working child. Although his health is not very good, his grades are still among the best.

(Source: “Dream Makeover”)

In 2008, with more than 30 points higher than Jiangsu No. 1 line, Xiao Li was admitted to the national university known as “the cradle of navigators” Key University – Dalian Maritime University.

(Source: “Dream Makeover”)

The first prize scholarship and national scholarship have been successively awarded.

(Source: “Dream Makeover”)

Seeing that the family finally hoped for hope, but it was fleeting.

In 2009, 19-year-old Xiao Li gradually developed symptoms of her father’s genetic disease, 14 years earlier than her father, who only became ill at the age of 33.

(Source: “Dream Makeover”)

Li graduated from University in 2012. Originally, his teacher hoped to recommend him to graduate school, but at this time, his body had obvious symptoms.

In order to reduce the burden on the family, Xiao Li gritted his teeth and found a job as a maritime supervisor.

(Source: “Dream Makeover”)

But unfortunately, the condition worsened faster than he imagined, starting with difficulty walking and climbing stairs, and gradually developing into a sneeze that could cause him to fall heavily to the ground.

(Source: “Dream Makeover”)

Eventually, he had to quit his job and go home to recover.

Actually, Xiao Li watched his father get sick since he was a child. He was very aware of his own ending, and he was also afraid.

(Source: “Dream Makeover”)

But he still fought the disease very strongly.

Every time he fell, he would try to stand up on his own and try not to rely on others.

He does up to 4 hours of exercise every day to slow the progression of the disease.

(Source: “Dream Makeover”)

Do household chores as much as you can to take the burden off your mother.

(Source: “Dream Makeover”)

Faced with a long dilemma, mother and son do their best to survive.

If there was no such serious negligence and no this disease, I think this mother and son who did not give up easily and fought hard would have lived happily ever after.

(Source: “Dream Makeover”)

In addition to genetic diseases, being concealed by a partner can cause irreparable harm.

Some people, like the husband in the opening story, may hide from their partners that they have AIDS out of fear of losing each other.

This is very likely to cause the other person to be infected.

According to a data from China’s National Center for Disease Control and Prevention, A large proportion of women infected with AIDS in my country are infected by their spouses or boyfriends, which is even higher than Commercial Sex:

Among the heterosexually transmitted AIDS in 2015, 26.9% of Chinese women were infected with AIDS due to marital spouse, while Commercial sexual activity only accounted for 10.5%[2].

According to United Nations estimates, of the 1.7 million women living with HIV in Asia, 90% were contracted by their husbands or boyfriends[3].

(Source: Reference 3)

In addition to AIDS, syphilis, hepatitis B, gonorrhea, condyloma acuminatum, genital herpes, etc. may also be transmitted through sexual behavior, but many people also choose to hide it.

(Source: Weibo)

Others hide serious illnesses.

(In order to avoid misunderstanding of the above diseases, Zhimei mosaics the disease name. Image source: Weibo)

Therefore, Zhimei hopes that whether it is a girl or a boy, try to have a medical examination with each other before marriage, including before having a relationship, and exchange each other’s Report.

Take premarital examination as an example, it can usually check these types of diseases:

Notifiable Sexually Transmitted Infectious Diseases: AIDS, Gonorrhea, Syphilis, Hepatitis B, etc.

Some congenital genetic disorders or birth defects: such as thalassemia.

Severe mental illness: such as severe manic depression, schizophrenia, etc.

Check liver, kidney, and thyroid function to assess the function of these organs.

Reproductive anomalies.

With the financial support of our country, premarital examinations are currently free in most provinces, and it only takes a little time to avoid major negligence.

As for the online method of “donating blood instead of physical examination“, no! Can! OK! And it’s dangerous!

There is a “window period” after infection with AIDS, hepatitis B, and C, when antibodies may not be detected, but contagious, Once blood is put into use, it may harm others for a lifetime. I hope that if there is a risk of exposure in the near future, must not do this!

Finally, Zhimei would like to say that advocating premarital examinations does not discriminate against diseases.

Syphilis can be cured as soon as possible with standard treatment;

Hepatitis B can be stably controlled by standard treatment, and there are many mature technologies that can block mother-to-child transmission;

If you have a genetic disease, you can choose DINK, you can adopt it, or you can block the inheritance through IVF.

Frank and relative, we can all work together to find a solution.

Aids or hepatitis B, these are not problems. The real problem is just the heart that is deliberately concealed.

Reviewer: Huang Yan|Chief Physician, Department of Infectious Diseases, Xiangya Hospital, Central South University


[1]Chen Wanqing, Sun Kexin, Zheng Rongshou, et al. Analysis of the incidence and mortality of malignant tumors in China in 2014 [J]. China Oncology, 2018, 27(1): 1-14.

[2]Edwards BK, Ward E, Kohler BA, et al.Annual report to the nation on the status of cancer, 1975-2006, featuring colorectal cancer trends and impact of interventions (risk factors, screening, and treatment) to reduce future rates[J].Cancer,2010,116(3):544-5

[3]Aleksandrova K, Pischon T, Jenab M, et al.Combined impact of healthy lifestyle factors on colorectal cancer: a large European cohort study[J].BMC Med,2014,12 :168.

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