International Day Against Children

April 30th is International Day Against Spanking, also known as No Slap Day.

The origin of this festival is that the American anti-corporal punishment organization “Effective Discipline Center” launched the festival in 1998 and set it on April 30 every year, mainly hoping to promote the main activities through various publicity activities. , advocating the concept of anti-corporal punishment children’s sense of crowd.

But this holiday, many people don’t know about it—-

But seeing this topic, many netizens also shared their childhood experiences of being beaten, and they said it with tears

Child abuse, is it far from us?

Actually, not really.

According to data, the incidence of physical abuse of children in urban areas in China is currently 41.2%-67.3%, but violence is not only physical violence, but also emotional or mental violence, and sexual violence.

“If you don’t beat for three days, you will go to the house to uncover the tiles; if you don’t beat for one day, you will feel uncomfortable.”

Once upon a time, the mainstream educational concept in our country was “filial sons come out of the stick”. Even now, there are still some parents who believe that this is the correct method of discipline.

However, the subsequent corporal punishment, abuse and other behaviors of the child have caused serious physical and psychological harm to the child, and can even be said to be “It will be difficult to recover for a lifetime” damage.

However, the problem is that many parents today may be ignoring the fact that their children’s mental health is at the same time that they focus on their children’s academic performance.

Children’s mental health deserves our attention

As early as January 2020, the Psychological Society conducted a survey on the psychological status of teenagers. The survey on students’ study stress showed: 39.1% of the students thought that the study pressure was too high, 60.9% % of the students thought that the study pressure was moderate, and no classmates thought that the study pressure was too low.

Excessive pressure mainly comes from their own expectations (58.7%) and family expectations (32.6%), and only 8.7% of the pressure comes from teachers’ expectations.

Using beating and scolding to urge children to make progress, exposes the inability of parents in education.

In the Korean drama “City in the Sky”, Yingcai’s parents do whatever it takes to get their children admitted to the top universities in the country in order to enter the upper class elite.

If you don’t get full marks in the general subject, you are not eligible to sleep, and you are even forced to study by your father’s threat with a gun…

Under the pressure of parents, Yingcai eventually became a reading machine—

Education is the art of teaching by example

The Jews had a famous saying: What do parents mean to their children? The father shapes the brain of the child, and the mother shapes the soul of the child.

The influence of a family of origin on a person is far from deep-rooted, because childhood is the most important stage in the formation of children’s values ​​and behavior habits.

Many children with flaws in their original families will always have one or another trouble when they grow up—–

Outside is strong, but inside is extremely insecure;

When a problem occurs, always question whether it is your fault first;

Lonely and low self-esteem, always want to integrate into the group but dare not take the first step…

As in “Everything is Good”, Su Mingyu played by Yao Chen, she spent her whole life fighting against her family of origin, she hated her strong mother, but when her father insisted on continuing, But at the police station, he couldn’t bear the curse.

That looks like her hated mother—

Adler once said: Fortunate people are healed by childhood all their lives, and unfortunate people are healed by childhood all their lives.

Then in education, what methods should we pay attention to:

One, teach children to establish correct values

As a child’s home teacher, the value system that parents want their children to establish, and often instilling grades in their children is not the most important thing to reflect the value of life.

There are many paths to life’s worth, and it doesn’t just depend on the exam itself.

In one’s life, people will go through a variety of big and small exams. No matter how many times they go through, it’s just one exam, which does not represent the gains and losses of a lifetime. It can only reflect the results of recent studies. Hard work can improve results.

Two, teach children to be good at analyzing and finding reasons

Failures in exams are common during school. Parents should guide their children to be good at analysis, find out the reasons for failure in time, and make a summary.

Develop a thinking that is good at analyzing problems, which can guide children’s growth path and reduce mistakes.

In addition, parents should also pay attention to the child’s learning ability. If the child’s grades are always unsatisfactory or not good at learning since middle school and high school, they should consider whether the child is not good at learning. If you have other hobbies or specialties, you can change the direction of learning in time and make choices for your child’s life.

Third, consider diversity, not just exams

As a parent, you should consider diversity, not just exams. Only parents with an open mind can guide their children correctly.

The exam is just a test of stage learning, and this test is not always objective and true, because there are times when the child fails in the middle, which does not test the child’s true level.

In view of this situation, parents mainly do a good job of comforting their children in the later stage, help their children pass the many big exams that follow, build confidence, and guide their children to study step by step.

However, interest is the best teacher. If you are not interested in learning, everything is lost. Therefore, the most important thing is to cultivate children’s interest in learning, so as not to regard studying for exams as a burden and pressure.

Life is long, like a marathon.

Only by continuing to move forward can we see the dawn of victory. Each stage is only the starting point of the long-distance running. Only by continuing to move forward can we go further.

Parents are their children’s mentors and are accountable to their children, which does not mean depriving them of their choice.

Accept the child as he is, and believe that the child can be on his own.

Respecting the love in your child’s heart may be the most precious gift a parent can give your child.