How to get rid of past hurts? Try these 8 methods!

At some point, most people want to know how to let go of the pain


. It is natural to feel that your current emotional pain is always related to what you have experienced in the past. But letting go of pain, even if it was caused by the past, starts with focusing on the present.

How to let go of the past can mean different things to different people, and it may also depend on your situation.

Maybe you think letting go is about being able to remember the event or person without going through the pain, maybe you think it’s all about forgetting, or maybe it means you want to move on, albeit still There is no forgetting or forgiveness.

No matter what it means to you, it can release the weight that is weighing on your heart. New Concept Psychologist

Professor Rong Xinqi

Indicates that all of the suffering and hurt we have suffered can be healed. Here are some tips and tricks that might help you get rid of past hurts.

1. Internalize past damage

Sometimes, when you’ve been hurt long enough, you may get used to the emotional pain.

Perhaps, you may find it safe and familiar; maybe, you have internalized it as a part of your body.

Growing pains may be real. It can be uncomfortable to stay away from things you feel and think about for a long time, but healing, joy, and peace of mind can be the flip side of letting go.

It may not be like this for everyone, but if you ask yourself questions like “Why can’t I let go?” it may help you start to let go of your past:

Is there any secondary benefit to focusing myself on what is hurting?

Looking back, does it keep you from trying new relationships or situations?

Do you avoid addressing emotional pain because it means you have to face it first?

If you moved away from the past, what would your life be like now?

What would happen if you played a different role in this situation?

2. Release the painful emotions

Professor Rong said that in the face of past hurt and pain, if you want to heal yourself, you first need to feel it.

Suppressing your thoughts and emotions can hurt you in the long run and make it hard to let go, especially if you keep thinking about the past and things that hurt you.

Thinking about the same negative thoughts over and over can affect your mood, relationships, and even your productivity and creativity. Trying to find ways to express your healthy feelings and letting go of your emotional urges may help you stop cranking.

The following activities can help you release your pain. For example:

Write your painful feelings and emotions in a journal;

Write a letter or email to the person who hurt you;

If writing or talking is difficult for you, vent your pain through art or play;

Find trusted friends, relatives or counsellors to share your experiences and feelings with.

3. Take responsibility

Professor Rong emphasizes that taking responsibility doesn’t mean you have to blame yourself for what happened to you in the past, it’s more important to be aware of how much energy you spend remembering or Feel the things that are no longer what you are now. You should focus your attention elsewhere.

When you keep recalling your painful, resentful, or hurtful memories, you relive the painful experience time and time again. It may keep you stuck in the past, but what has happened is something you cannot change.

Maybe you don’t have a choice about what hurt you in the past, but you have a choice now, and you can choose where you put your mind and heart today.

Taking responsibility, while a daunting task for many, is also natural and effective. Maybe the pain was so intense that you couldn’t help but focus on it, or maybe you had to live with the consequences. But a cure is still possible.

You can seek help from a professional counselor or psychotherapist who canIt will help you explore how to develop effective coping mechanisms that make letting go of the past easier.

4. Try to make room for new things

Always getting caught up in past events may leave little room in your heart and mind for new experiences, including those that might bring you Come have a happy experience.

Focusing on the past can make it easier to miss the good things in life in the present. Here are some tips for making room for the new and letting go of the past:

Set short-term personal and professional goals;

Cultivate gratitude so you can focus on what’s good in the present;

Assess the quality of your current relationships and choose the ones that are beneficial to you;

Dedicate to a new hobby or activity each month;

Clean and organize your space, give away or discard items you don’t need or that cause painful memories;

Build new relationships, start new relationships, and forget about the past;

Practicing mindfulness allows you to learn how to return to the moment when your mind drifted to the past;

One ​​weekly self-healing activity such as meditation, yoga, zazen, etc.;

Participate in altruistic activities that lift your mood by helping others, and more.

5. Prioritize yourself, it may help

Prioritizing yourself is about making conscious decisions, which may begin with realizing that choosing what’s good for you, but that doesn’t mean you’re selfish.

Putting yourself first can also mean restoring your inner strength by letting go of things that hurt you in the past and focusing on healing in the present. This is to make you realize “I’m important”.

You can consider these suggestions:

Go to counseling or psychotherapy to explore how to let go of the past and the hurt you have experienced;

When you’re not ready, make a line with others who may want to relive or discuss the past;

Make life decisions that make you feel safe, calm, or happy, even if others disagree;

Redefine thoughts that might increase your anxiety or sadness to focus on thoughts that might make you feel hopeful;

Try some methods of self-compassion, self-esteem, self-healing, and more.

Prioritize yourself and maybe explore ways to seek forgiveness.

Research shows that forgiving yourself and others is associated with higher mental health, including a higher tolerance for uncertainty and a lower tendency to anger.

6. Try to focus on goals

What do you learn about relationships, love, yourself, and life from your past traumatic experiences?

Your first reaction to this question may be to think about the negatives you might have learned. This is natural and effective. However, if this is your first reaction, try pausing and consider focusing on some positive goals. For example:

How strong and resilient you might be;

Who shows up for you and proves you can count on them;

In your life, you now know what you don’t want;

You may have developed coping skills for life’s challenges;

It feels like everything will pass, and it will pass.

This is not an all-inclusive list and may not necessarily apply to your situation.

The idea is to try to identify any strength, skill, knowledge, or clarity you may have gained from the painful event. Focusing on these goals may make it easier for you to let go.

7. Accept what you can’t change

One ​​reason you might ruminate about past events may be the need to revisit past choices or things that might have happened.

Focusing on the “what if” may lead you to engage in the same inner conversations and scenarios over and over again, but know that some things don’t change it no matter what.

This can be difficult to accept, but learning to recognize the things that are out of your control may help you let go of the past.

“should have” or “if” won’t change what has already happened, “could do” and “willing to do” can help you move forward and influence your present and Make decisions consciously in your future day-to-day decisions.

8. Seek professional help and support

Whether you live with traumaIf you are experiencing anxiety or other psychological disorders, or may face problems such as relationship conflicts, professional counselors and psychotherapists can help you learn to let go and release your painful emotions.